I know there are other things going on right now and I am currently trying to educate myself. But I want to say one thing since it’s the last bit of pride:

I once again am not arguing that I am or am not part of the LGBT community. BUT I am asexual and I have read far too many ace misconceptions on this damn app this month and I need to say something.

Arguing that aces can be cishet is invalidating. Cishet implies heterosexual. I am NOT heterosexual. I am EXTREMELY uncomfortable labeling myself as straight. Whenever I need to say that to my mother or father I feel sick. Claiming that asexuals are cishet is INVALIDATING.

Asexuality is a valid sexuality and claiming some aces are “cishet” invalidates their asexuality. I assure you we do not need that. We already experience enough invalidation and erasure. I have been told too many times that I am a late bloomer or that I just have low sex drive.

Asexuality is NOT a phase. Asexuality is NOT low sex drive. My sex drive has nothing to do with my sexuality and I certainly do not need to explain my damn sex drive to anyone, especially not to make my sexuality valid. That is SEPARATE and PRIVATE!

Why is it that a bisexual can have an incredibly low sex drive but their bisexuality is never questioned, yet an asexual can have the same and suddenly their sexuality is invalid. OR they have a high sex drive and suddenly “they can’t be asexual”

I am not sexually attracted to ANYONE. I can be the horniest person on the planet and all that means is that I am a human with hormones. Doesn’t mean I’m attracted to anyone. It’s not that hard.

I can’t believe that I always need to start these threads by saying I’m not claiming I’m LGBT. I can’t believe aces and aros are continuously shut out by the community to the point where they are adding to ace erasure and aces are actually afraid to say they are LGBT.

Aces experience discrimination and erasure just like other sexualities. Is it on the same level? Maybe not. Should that matter? Probably not.

AGAIN, I have been yelled at by an ex boyfriend because when he was essentially forcing me to be sexual with him (even after I told him I was ace and uncomfortable), he said he “felt like he was raping me” and I apologized. WHY DID I APOLOGIZE?! Why was that MY fault?!

I’ll tell you, it wasn’t. But I was conditioned to think that it was because I have continuously been told that my sexuality is just a burden, not valid, and not even a sexuality at all. ESPECIALLY by gatekeeper LGBT people.

If an ace/ark wants to be in the LGBT community because they want a place to express themselves, PLEASE do not make that toxic as well. Many of us have no where else to turn.

I learned about asexuality when I was 13 and identified with it immediately and only began to accept it when I turned 18 because of constant invalidation. Those were five rough years of having no identity. I had nowhere to turn to learn about myself. I hated it.

So, please don’t be ignorant. Please don’t invalidate aces/aros. Don’t be a dick towards any aspec people PLEASE. We are literally just trying to find our place and trying to educate others on what our sexuality really is. Listen and learn and don’t participate in ace erasure.