ok but imagine you're xiao xingchen - impossible ik bc he's an actual angel and us mere mortals dare not dream but that's irrelevant - and imagine your best friend losing his home and becoming blind and loving him So Much u break a rule just to give him your eyes so he can see
even when he scorns you and blames you and spouts all these cutting words u don't care bc he's angry and u understand and he leaves and u respect his wishes and don't follow and in that moment u kind of lose everything and your world is now drastically different but It's Fine
then you wander alone and blind for what?? 13 years?? relearning a Lot by yourself?? then finding this lil pickpocket girl who is definitely Not actually blind but she looks up at u and trusts u immediately and u still have so much love and can't help but take her under your wing
and u are a healer by heart and u cant refuse the wounded so when u sense this man on the brink of death u take him to your shelter and take care of him till he wakes but he doesnt give a name and thats fine it doesnt matter and u fully expect him to leave when he's healed anyway
but then he stays. and stays. and helps. and he's all cutting jokes and laughter and strange kindness and repressed grief and he makes u laugh So Much and he jokes about your blindness but never let's anyone take advantage of it
and he guides u on hunts and does the shopping so u don't need to and u leave him candy whenever u can bc u just Know that the story is about him and somewhere along the way u realize this leaking damaged coffin house became a home and u miss your friend at times but,,u have them
THEN EVERYTHING GETS VIOLENTLY RIPPED AWAY AND U REALIZE IT WAS A LIE AND THE ONE PERSON THAT KEPT PEOPLE FROM TRICKING U TOOK ADVANTAGE OF YOUR BLINDNESS THE MOST AND YOU'RE HORRIFIED AND ANGRY but at yourself bc u should've been more careful bc u shouldn't have trusted so easi-
AND U TRY TO THINK BACK ON THOSE 3 YEARS TOGETHER AND HOW MUCH OF IT WAS A LIE AND HOW LONG DID HE USE U AND DID U EVER KNOW HIM AT ALL AND THEN U FIND OUT U KILLED THE BEST FRIEND U THOUGHT U LOST YEARS AGO AND NOW ALL U HEAR IS THE RUSH OF YOUR OWN GUILT AND ANGER AND GRIEF
and it's toomuchtoomuchtoomuch if you already lose the person u hold dearest and the other one turned out to be just a lie and now u don't even have your principles left and it's s o l o u d and theres nothing but the noise u cant think... what else can you do?

you end the noise
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