Aight so I was talking this one shawty and she was black and Indian. We’ll call her Nati, now this girl told me she can make Indian food (my fuckin favorite) so I literally told her that we gotta go on a date the day of and she said yes. Well the first date was cool and shawty...

was definitely a chill vibe to enjoy and kind of a motivation when it came to business itself since her mother owned a clothing store. So I decided a second date was cool and shawty suggested I come to her house and she’ll cook for me...

Now mind you I’ve cooked for women but hadn’t had a woman cook for me at this point so I was intrigued. Then she mentioned that she was gonna cook INDIAN FOOD. I swear I’ve never had the thought “I’m gonna blow this woman’s mind” before until then. I was so excited that I had

to stand up with a menu stuck at my lap IYKYK. So we finished the date in the park across the street and I walked her to her car (she had came right after class) and I kissed shawty on the forehead as she got in and I closed the door for her...

She drove off and I returned the menu. I spent the whole next three days planning how I was gonna be able to starve myself without passing out at soccer practice. So D day comes. I ate protein and energy bars all through practice and then hit class and damn near crashed into a

car on the way to the block. I got myself ready and I stopped at the door turned around and thought about the fact that I’m walking in somebody’s house empty handed. I jogged in my bathroom and grabbed the body oil and 3 candles, hit the rack for a bottle of merlot...

I stuffed all of it in my duffle bag and got in the car. Drove to the grocery store and got simply lemonade with raspberry and ran up the street to my uncles and stole his favorite bottle of patron. I finally got to shawty’s place and she opens the door with this open back...

dress on and heels that were too damn high. She was struggling so bad to walk into the kitchen that i had to bite my cheek to keep from laughing. She told me that the food was ready and I got directions to the bathroom and washed my hands. So I finally get back to the table and

and we both sit down and I was so focused on the spread In front of me that I damn near missed the chair. So I literally am eating past the point that I’m full and later I am sitting on this woman’s couch half conscious talking to her about classes

which ironically woke me the fuck up and now I’m focusing on the fact that this woman just fed me an incredible meal. I beckon for her to sit next to me and shawty must of peeped my intentions because she sat on my lap instead of beside me and ya boy felt that light weight and it

was a wrap I must of had this girl on top of her couch, dress off and heels somewhere on the fire escape (she stepped on my foot at one point and I dashed them away). She kept on holding my head to kiss her and I had to flip her upside down just to get to the and I went in

When I was done I put her down and her little feet were all curled (it was so cute) and she just laid limp so I saw an opportunity and got my bag and pulled out a candle, turned off the lights and dropped the curtains. She had a sound system but I don’t fuck with other people

Bluetooth connections so I put my phone in a vase and plaid my music ...

Now as I started to rub shawty down with the oil in hand I heard a door open and as I looked back I saw the tallest woman I’ve ever met in my life looking down at me and smiling I stopped all movements

like I was being stared down by a wild grizzly and Nati opened her eyes and said “oh that my roommate (Kay)” well Kay stopped down and was literally still taller than me and said “what’s his name?” With a strong ass French accent and I started to say my name high af

hen I remembered who tf I was and got the bass back in my voice and proclaimed my name. Shawty gave me a big ass smile and said I was handsome and that I should come over more often. She then walked away and I just sat there confused in wtf just happened and Nati started grabbing

Yo I deadass stood up and was like “this ain’t weird to you???” and she ain’t say nothing, she was too busy putting her arm up to my extension and doing the most. Meanwhile I’m just thinking about the fact that she has a roomie that can definitely dunk on my ass.

Not the best feeling but I allowed it. Then I snapped back to the present when I felt teeth and I saw Nati being childish and growling with me in her mouth. I immediately noted she was too damn drunk and I retrieved my member and picked shawty up and carried her

to her room while following her drunken directions and waddling with my pants at my ankles. I got Nati to her bed and laid her down and shawty was murmuring and shit so I pulled up my pants and shawty gargled “i knew you’d love my mom’s cooking” THE BITCH WAS A FRAUD.

I was so irritated that I washed all her nut off my mouth and neck and rushed home that night and didn’t even care that I ain’t get none... that food was the truth though.