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The Guide to Fake Doms
That being said, TW / Abuse
The Guide to Fake Doms
That being said, TW / Abuse
Their first messages always include one of the following: A shirtless pic, a dick pic, or an overly sexual message you didn’t consent to.
Obsession: They want you to be available at all hours of the day. If you’re not at their beck and call you “don’t like them and were just using them.”
Aloof: You have to basically sell your soul for a chance to reach out to them. They talk to you once and never again, totally leaving you alone for apparently no reason.
They don’t care about your limits or wants, they only want what’s good for them. It’s not hot to be selfish. Don’t fall for that trick of ego.
They’re “Dark” and “Mysterious” without an inch of kindness. Doms aren’t supposed to be Doms to everyone, just to you. Fake Doms try to make everyone that talks to them a sub, real world don’t work like that.
“”Polyamorous”” Fake Doms are allowed to have as mang subs as they want, but they’ll never tell you and you ESPECIALLY can’t have other Doms.
Manipulation: You know the drill. They gaslight. They guilt trip. They cheat then blame you. The second you break away they call you names and insult you, calling you a “fake sub” because you realized their toxicity.
They’ll show up in your DMs out of nowhere “looking for a new sub / slut” with 3 followers and an account made yesterday.
When you deny their sub request they send a dick pic trying to convince you otherwise, as if dick pics hold any ground these days.
They’ll like the sex, they’ll like bossing you around, but the second you come to them asking for help getting your eating schedule on track they’re nowhere to be seen.
They hit you outside of a scene. If your bruises weren’t consensual, call the National Abuse Hotline at 1−800−799−7233
If that’s not possible, DM me a simple “xx” and I’ll try to find a way to help you.
If that’s not possible, DM me a simple “xx” and I’ll try to find a way to help you.
They use your insecurities against you, manipulating you and how you’re “too ugly to get anyone else” or similar
They become too sexual too quick. Real Doms want to get to know you, so they can know best how to Dominate you if you consent, Fake Doms get right down to sex as quick as they can
In a bondage scene, you see your fingers turn blue or you feel a tingling sensation and the Dom refuses to cut the rope, saying that they always do it right.
Refusal to admit when they’re wrong. Arrogance has no place in BDSM, if your Dom can’t apologize then they shouldn’t be your Dom.
Sharing pictures without your consent. Your body, your choice. You give your submission to Doms but they’re responsible for your wellbeing, Fake Doms don’t care.
“Hurt, but do no Harm” Kink is about sensation, not permenance. If your Dom knowingly and unapologetically causes you permanent harm, they are not a real Dom
They don’t care about scene safety. Not researching types of rope, not checking to have the key to handcuffs, whipping the unsafe portions of the body. Kink requires research and rules, if they can’t follow those then why trust them with your body?
They don’t believe in aftercare. Scenes are tough on the mind for both Doms and subs, foregoing aftercare is a cardinal sin in kink. It’s common for new Doms to not know about aftercare, it’s immoral for them to just ignore it
They brush off Dom/mes of the opposite gender because they “just haven’t found the right Dom yet”
Refusal to change. All new Doms show some ((minor)) Fake Dom traits, with the lack of proper guides it’s common and shouldn’t be a cause for branding them Fake. Though refusing to correct these bad qualities is the true sign of a Fake Dom.
One size fits all: Fake Doms think that being a Dominant is a specific mold. Black suits, stubble beards, hard demeanors. No, Dominance comes in all shapes and sizes. Although I love suits, I don’t need a suit to Dom a consenting sub.
They force you to involve nonconsenting parties. Exhibition is fun, but not in the middle of a busy park. Don’t bring the public into your kink, they don’t want to see it. Swinger hotel takeovers? Fine. Kink houseparties? Go for it. McDonalds? Please... please no.
If you have any more you’d like to add feel free in the replies, I’d imagine there’s some I missed as I’m only an observer. If you need any help with Fake Doms, feel free to DM me, I’ll always be open to talk about things like that.
