To be clear, being in an open relationship is not the same as being a swinger, and all swingers are not in open relationships. Let's please stop conflating the two.

Both swingers and people in open relationships have rules, however. It's not a fucking free for all.

Nonmonogamy as a practice takes a lot of emotional maturity and emotional intelligence to function in a healthy way.

What most people think is an open relationship ain't it. Some of y'all are just dishonest.

If we could disabuse ourselves of the notion that love and commitment = possession, we'd probably move across this plane a lot more smoothly.

Most of y'all don't really want an open relationship. You want a fucking "hall pass." No judgment. Just be honest about that shit.

Can I just say that when someone truly understands how nonmonogamy works, and they are mature enough to handle it, that shit is fucking AMAZING. Please believe me.

I have three of those right now. Not one of them feels threatened by any of the others, and they all know about each other. Two of them tell me to say hi to each other for them and that shit is hilarious, but mostly because the three of us have discussed doing MMF.

Yes, bitch. I won.

Anyway, it works because we are all honest with each other. Everything is a conversation.

They can talk to me about their "extras" and vice versa. No one gets uncomfortable. It is what it is.

There's this song by the S.O.S. Band called "Just Be Good To Me." I used to call it the ultimate side chick song, but in reality, sis was spitting real game.

I honestly don't know or care what they do when they aren't with me. As long as we keep it respectful, and as long as we follow the rules and conditions we have set for ourselves, then it doesn't matter.

I have not experienced any of them being jealous of one of the others. It just is what it is.

This is my experience though. Your mileage may vary.

It takes work and commitment. And HONESTY. I can't stress that enough. Honest and open communication is key.