ok hear me out!! soft and sweet peachy-haired college student jungkook who has started exploring their gender more since they got to college!

jungkook has always liked pretty things, has always liked perfumes that make them smell sweet and flowery and tinted lip balms that make their lips shiny and pink. but since coming to college, jungkook has started getting a little braver.

in high school they wore a lot of oversized monochromatic shirts and a lot of gym shorts and they were fine with that. they still like wearing those types of things actually, but jungkook thinks it would be nice sometimes to look a little prettier!

so they buy their first crop top-- a navy blue shirt with a hem that ends right above their prominent abs-- and wearing it makes them feel both feminine and powerful. they feel like they look good for once, really good, and it feels nice to put more effort into their appearance.

so they buy more things to try. they buy black fishnets that they wear underneath a pair of ripped denim jeans one day. they get their ears pierced and start wearing a wide variety of earrings, unsure of what style suits them best yet.

jimin, one of jungkook's best friends, seems to notice that jungkook is undergoing some kind of Gender Journey, so he surprises jungkook by buying them a nail polish set with five different colors to choose from.

jungkook is a little embarrassed, mostly because they haven't really talked about this whole Gender Business with jimin outright at all yet, but they're thankful that jimin seemed to pick up on what's been going on and is trying to support jungkook in any way he can.

jungkook even decides to dye their hair for the first time, which is something they never thought they would do. jimin and taehyung come over to help them with the bleaching and dyeing process, and they end up dyeing it a pretty peach color!! and it really suits jungkook!

jungkook receives a lot of compliments when they show up to their classes on monday... including one from kim namjoon

jungkook likes to consider themself a pretty put-together and level-headed person, but when kim namjoon approaches them after a lecture to compliment their hair color, jungkook damn well nearly loses their mind.

(for reference, this is kinda the namjoon i am picturing)

jungkook has had their eye on namjoon for two whole semesters now.

it's not a crush, no matter what taehyung and jimin say.

it's just... admiration. that's the best way jungkook can think to put it.

namjoon stood out to jungkook the first time they saw him on campus. namjoon had been wearing a long, brown skirt that fell just above his ankles and a faded green shirt with tiny white flowers on it that he had tucked neatly into his skirt.

jungkook couldn't stop thinking about it for weeks. couldn't stop thinking about /him/ for weeks.

it's not a crush. it really isn't.

they just think he's really cool. it's cool that he doesn't give a fuck about what people think and just wears whatever he wants. jungkook wishes they could be as brave as him sometimes.

and from what jungkook has heard, namjoon is nothing but kind and gentle in person, and that just makes jungkook like him even more. (like as in like platonically, not romantically!! jungkook swears.)

so naturally, after namjoon approaches jungkook for the first time just to compliment their new hair, jungkook doesn't shut up about it for /weeks/.

their friends are starting to get tired of it, but jungkook doesn't care. they will talk about it as much as they want! because namjoon is really fucking cool and they idolize him a lot and he has even helped jungkook be braver in their own gender journey over the past year.

... and then jungkook finds namjoon's instagram.

or, more accurately, taehyung finds namjoon's instagram late one night and sends a screenshot to jungkook with the caption, "isn't this your man?"

and wouldn't you know, it is him.

the bio reads: "kim namjoon. fourth year sociology student. bilingual (korean, english). he/him"

namjoon is the kind of person to put his pronouns in his bio, jungkook notices, and it makes them smile. only a few of jungkook's english-speaking friends have their pronouns included in their bios, but it makes jk feel immensely warm and happy when they see namjoon do it too.

[[the korean language does not have gendered pronouns, which is why i specified "english-speaking friends" here]]

jungkook is glad to know how namjoon likes to be referred to now, and as they scroll through all his photos, they feel like they get to know him better and better with every picture they see.

maybe jimin and taehyung were right about this crush thing, jungkook thinks to themself after they realize an entire half hour has passed by and they are /still/ smiling over photo updates of namjoon's tiny potted cacti.

after jungkook comes to this realization that their feelings for namjoon have grown past simple admiration, they come to the conclusion that something has to be done. they /have/ to at least try talking to namjoon.

taehyung and jimin give jungkook their enthusiastic support once they hear about this idea, and they even go as far to walk jungkook to their next shared class with namjoon and hype jungkook up the entire way there.

jk's face is red by the time they arrive bc they're /embarrassed/ but also bc they're kind of nervous... namjoon is just so cool and he's a few years older than jungkook and he always knows the answers in class and also apparently has an incredibly endearing love for plants and--

oh boy. jungkook doesn't know if they can do this. maybe they'll just go sit down at their normal seat like they do every other day and keep to themself and just take notes like they're supposed to.

but then they step into the lecture hall and by some sick twist of fate, they somehow meet namjoon's gaze immediately upon entering. he has his bag propped up on the table in front of him and he's in the process of taking his notebook out, but he pauses as soon as he sees jk.

he sends jungkook a soft, friendly smile, and jungkook ignores the not-so-quiet exclamation of, "wait, isn't that /him/?" from jimin behind them.

with their heart practically in their throat, jungkook puts one foot in front of the other and takes a few measured steps forward toward namjoon. namjoon still hasn't looked away from them either. he's been smiling curiously at jungkook since they first made eye contact.

"hey," he says when jungkook stops in front of him. he zips his bag up and places it on the ground beneath his seat. "coming through?" he gestures down the aisle he's currently sitting near the end of, but jungkook shakes their head.

"ah, actually, i think i'll sit here? if that's okay?" they gesture to the seat at the end of the row, right next to namjoon's.

namjoon's smile only widens and he even lets out a gentle huff of laughter. "you don't have to ask for my permission. go ahead."

jungkook's cheeks heat in embarrassment for even asking in the first place, but they felt it was only polite.

"thought i'd ask anyway," they say. "i know some people like their space."

"not me," namjoon reassures, and he sounds like he's telling the truth. "so don't worry."

they don't say anything else to each other after that, but jungkook makes it a habit moving forward to always sit somewhere close to namjoon if they can. the two of them become friendly acquaintances and before long, jungkook is told they can start calling namjoon "hyung".

they don't get the chance to talk too much during their lectures, but they eventually exchange phone numbers and that's when they really start learning more about each other.

jungkook learns a lot about namjoon. they hear about the other classes he's taking, the post-graduation job he's trying to secure for himself, the clubs he's involved with on campus, and even the fluffy white dog he spotted in the window of a pet store and wishes he could adopt

the most surprising thing jungkook learns about namjoon, however, is that namjoon isn't actually trans like jungkook originally thought he might be. he's actually a cis man who just doesn't give a fuck about gender norms.

jungkook mentally berates themself for just /assuming/ namjoon was trans after jungkook saw him wearing a skirt. they should have known better than to assume something like that based off of a piece of clothing, and jungkook feels extremely silly and embarrassed in hindsight.

jungkook eventually tells this to namjoon and even explains how they idolized him to an extent for being so brave and for wearing whatever he wants. jungkook also confesses how much he has helped them in their own journey with gender.

to jungkook's relief, namjoon doesn't seem bothered by the confession at all.

"i've wondered before whether i was trans," namjoon admits with a small smile. "i don't think i am, but you never know i guess. maybe one day i'll feel differently about it. who knows." namjoon laughs.

and jungkook is just... so in awe of namjoon and his perspective on things. his relationship with his gender seems so casual and comfortable, and he seems so open to any changes or new labels that might await him in the future.

wow, jungkook has a crush, and they have it bad.

everything about namjoon is just so refreshing, and jungkook feels so at ease when they talk to him, like they could tell him anything, any of their secrets, and namjoon would not judge.

maybe that's why it's ultimately so easy for jungkook to confess his feelings.

it's only the second time the two of them are hanging out outside of class. they decided to meet up at one of the campus buildings and then walk to namjoon's apartment together.

jungkook is wearing a skirt for the first time in public. they felt nervous as soon as they stepped foot outside their door earlier in the day, but now, next to namjoon, they can't seem to remember any of those worries anymore.

"i like this," namjoon tells them, pointing to jk's black pleated skirt.

jungkook is wearing leggings underneath it bc they didn't feel quite ready to wear the skirt with their bare legs showing yet. now, jk thinks maybe they would have been okay without the leggings after all.

"you do?" jungkook asks shyly. they had bought the skirt with namjoon in mind, but they don't tell him this.

"i do." namjoon smiles. "it suits you very well."

jungkook wants to yell. they want to do a little dance. they want to sing at the top of their lungs. the surge of adrenaline that courses through their body at namjoon's compliment is so strong, so overwhelming, that jungkook has to do /something/.

but jungkook can't do any of those things because they aren't exactly socially acceptable ways to respond to a compliment from a cute guy. so instead, jungkook finds themself saying the words that have been on the tip of their tongue for weeks now.

"hyung, i think i like you."

namjoon very ungracefully trips over his own feet and bangs his elbow into the side of a trashcan in the process.

jungkook stops in the middle of the sidewalk as namjoon cradles his elbow and continues to stare at them with a wide-eyed, stunned look on his face.

jungkook doesn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"hyung, was it really that shocking?" jungkook asks teasingly, but their cheeks are flaming and their voice quivers slightly. "i thought i was pretty obvious..."

"/you/ like /me/?" namjoon asks, a bit incredulous.

"yes," jungkook says seriously. "what, you don't believe me?"

"i-- i just-- hold on." namjoon briefly checks his elbow for any sort of bruising and then pulls jungkook out of the way of the sidewalk traffic.

"i'm not doubting your feelings," he promises. "i'm just... surprised?"

"i'm surprised you didn't already know," jungkook says quietly. "i wasn't very subtle. i even told you i used to idolize you."

"well i didn't know! you could have meant that in a... straight way."

"in a /straight way/?" they exclaim. and then jungkook is doubling over in laughter because in no universe has jungkook ever done anything in a /straight way/. "i don't know, hyung. felt pretty gay to me."

then it suddenly hits jungkook that namjoon hasn't exactly accepted their confession yet. they've been laughing and joking together, which... probably isn't a bad sign? right?

but jungkook needs clarification.

"so you... um... is it gay for you too?" jungkook ends up blurting out, to their own utter mortification.

namjoon stares at them with that wide-eyed look all over again before saying, "yes, jungkook. it's definitely gay for me too."

his cheeks are stained a pretty pink now, and jungkook doesn't remember ever seeing him this flustered before. it makes them want to do something bold like kiss him, but it feels way too soon for that.

"i'm sorry, i'm just still processing this," namjoon confesses.

"processing... my feelings?" jungkook bites their lip nervously.

"processing that the cute peach-haired underclassman from my morning lectures somehow thinks i'm dateable."

jungkook's mouth pops open in surprise at that. "you think i'm cute?" they ask, voice high-pitched and hopeful.

namjoon smiles to himself. the two of them resume walking.

"i /know/ you're cute," he says.

jungkook's smile only grows. "well i know you're cute too."

namjoon ducks his head shyly and laughs. "i'm glad we're on the same page then."

"me too," jungkook says, beaming at him widely.

they walk in silence for a few moments.

then, "hyung, does that make this our first date?"

namjoon smiles and takes them by the hand.

"the first of many, i have a feeling."

[[ the end!! if you read this, i hope you enjoyed it i have been thinking about that one picture of jungkook nonstop so it was only a matter of time before i wrote something like this lksdjf ]]