Okay, after taking some time to mentally recover, I'm here to take accountability for my actions and my words publicly.

I made some rather misinformed and tone-deaf tweets about ACAB based on what I saw on Twitter, and I apologize. I have since educated myself (1/25)

and I understand the foundations of the movement and its prevalence with BLM. Me stating that I was black in the initial thread was NOT intended to be a shield against criticism for my words, but was to prevent policing from those not part of the black community. (2/25)

I have done and said NUMEROUS fucked up and questionable things in my past, and I am sorry for it. This includes but is not limited to;

- My Hamilton artwork
- mistreated and was toxic ex friends
- drew ship art of real people
- roleplayed real people (3/25)

and there's no excuse for it. When I made those Hamilton drawings, they were for an AU I made on Tumblr during evacuation for a hurricane. It was all in good fun and was intended to perpetuate the musical interpretations of these characters, not the gross old white people (4/25)

who owned slaves and did other awful shit, like sexually abuse said slaves and women, etc. etc. As a minor, I didn't grasp how what I was doing could be harmful to the trans community, which, at the time, I thought I was a part of. I identified as a trans boy (5/25)

and went by he/him pronouns (I now go by she/her). I got TOO excited seeing people who looked like me (POCS) onstage, and I was like "NOW'S MY CHANCE TO PROJECT AND MAKE AN AU!!" well, it was not, and I was not prepared for the backlash I faced for it. After a suicide (6/25)

attempt following the creation of that blog, I distanced myself from both Hamilton and its community, and I began making Game Grumps artwork. I indulged in drawing ship art, as much of the community does, and I agree, shipping real people is creepy. There's a reason I (7/25)

stopped drawing Egobang, and it was because I realized this and that there were much better things to draw out there, and much healthier things to fixate on. I turned my attention toward charity work, and ran the NSPZine alongside a few friends of mine. It was a (8/25)

HUGE success, aside from some shipping issues. I put a lot of pressure on one of my coworkers @littlepizzapie, and I truly regret that. Stress made me pretty bitchy, but despite all that, I continuously offered her outs, telling her to ship the books to me and that I would (9/25)

finish shipping them out, because people had paid and were still waiting on their product. I kept checking in with her up until May of this year, because one of our artists AND the giveaway winner still had not received their copies of the book. Our interactions were (10/25)

always polite, and she never mentioned having any problem with me to my face, at least. I made those fateful Tweets about ACAB, and then logged off of Twitter to distance myself from the hate that I knew I was probably receiving. In fact, I logged off about an hour after (11/25)

even making the tweets, because I knew what was coming. I wasn't mentally stable enough to handle it, and I seriously thought I was valid in speaking out the way I felt. I deleted my social media accounts after the drama made its way to my tumblr RP blog for joker, (12/25)

thanks to a group that had proved that it already Didn't Like Me namedropping my Twitter and spreading it there. I was frazzled, suicidal, and didn't know WHAT to do. Should I speak? Should I stay quiet? Eventually, with rising falsified claims of pedophilia spreading (13/25)

about me, and other awful shit, I made a document addressing the entire situation. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OijxgeyQJiboB4M6YudlbNED1XYGLOo3De9DcagGU5I/ Here it is, and more information on the debacle can be found over @ pegocallout and adultdefy on tumblr.

The MAIN thing I'd like to address in this thread is (14/25)

the fact that I was groomed by the teacher in those drawings, and I made those when I was a confused, mentally-ill minor. They were wrong and gross, and I understand that this sort of thing can cause real educators their jobs. But this teacher was arrested two (15/25)

years ago, and is currently in jail for being caught taking pictures up female students' skirts. I have intense trauma with the situation, and seeing people bring it up and throw it in my face to discredit me because they disagree with me or dislike me has hurt more (16/25)

than mostly anything that has been said about me. @ pegocallout has a post with links documenting his arrest and charges, so if you don't believe me, please factcheck me.

After publishing this document, I took some much-needed distance from social media. And it (17/25)

was helping! Until this sweet letter from Adriana (littlepizzapie, if you've forgotten) showed up on my porch along with the extra copies of NSPZine I'd been begging for since last year. I wasn't going to make this public, but Adriana, who I was friends with and (18/25)

never seemed to have a problem with me is going on record now framing me as an abuser due to her limited experiences interacting with me and knowledge of me as a person at current, seeing as we stopped actually speaking about anything BUT NSPZine last year. I like to (19/25)

think that I have grown since then.

I wasn't going to respond to what she sent at all, but it threw me into a suicidal pitfall yet AGAIN, because I'd logged offline to ESCAPE this, and having it show up at your house does something to you. I still feel panic when (20/25)

my phone pings, or whenever I get mail, and it will probably take a while for that to truly go away.

Thank you to those who have politely disagreed with me and the things I've said and done, and handled them maturely. I wasn't going to address any of this at all, but (21/25)

I felt I really needed to say something. Because quite a bit of the things going around about me are harmful.

Pedophilia accusations are serious.
Accusations of racism, trans/homophobia are serious.
Defending an actual predator to degrade my experiences is serious. (22/25)

My twitter was deleted for a long while, and I planned on letting it stay that way, honestly, but I brought it back to share around the second wave of NSPZine. We are currently selling the leftover copies to donate to the Center for Black Equity, to support BLM and pride. (23/25)

I plan on letting the Umbrony alias die, and taking a very, VERY long break from social media. I don't know if I'll ever be back, as this entire situation and things that have happened to me online since age 17 have left lasting scars on me and my perception of people. (24/25)

I know this is EXTREMELY tldr, but thank you to those who've bothered to read. Again, I apologize to those I've hurt, and a more detailed account can be found in the above linked document, but I wanted to write something here to try and contextualize some things. (25/25)