The problem w Mormonism isn’t queer people or progressives or even d*zn*t or conservatives. The problem w Mormonism is an institutional church that says I’m welcome but demands I change who I am & calls for love & tolerance but does nothing to condemn hateful members. A RANT: 1/

Folks on both sides are claiming you can’t be progressive & support the Church while nuanced believers are understandably offended. The problem is that they’re both right. Supporting the Church IS problematic if you’re progressive. Your personal beliefs don’t change that. 2/

That doesn’t mean you have to leave to be an ally or to be happy. It means when someone tells you that you support a hateful church you can’t just cry out, “Stop attacking me! I’m one of the good ones!” You have to wrestle w that. I know this is hard but nuance usually is. 3/

We can’t forget this is the Church’s fault. They want the best of both worlds. They want progressives & conservatives to stay. They tell queer folks they’re welcome while doubling down on anti-LGBT+ policies, all while enforcing a strict true/false binary. It’s confusing! 4/

I’m progressive & I’m gay & I left the Church & I’m still Mormon so I feel all these perspectives are pretty clear to me. I used to pray for incremental, even if cosmetic, changes in the Church. Now I just need them to choose who they are & stick w it, w/o regard to numbers. 5/

People don’t realize that this is their BIGGEST concern. It’s not doctrine or social issues or money, though all of this does play a role. The Church is hemorrhaging right now & they’re trying to hold onto as many as they can bc they want to still be around in 100 years. 6/

I love my progressive & queer friends who are able to make the Church work for them. But there ARE contradictions. You ARE hurting queer people when you tithe, you ARE enabling a hateful organization when you give the Church your time. I know it’s hard to hear but it’s true. 7/

You can reconcile this with your values! But you have to actually do it. You can’t just feel absolved bc of your personal beliefs. If the Lord has called you to stay then he’s got work for you to do. Getting upset when folks call out your religion is NOT that work. Listen. 8/

Finally, ex-Mormons, I love you but you’re not the objective, rational beings you think you are. It’s always easier to enforce your side as objectively right but that’s not how the world works. Idc what you have to say abt God or Joseph Smith or the BoM, it’s OK to have faith. 9/

Perhaps there’s some work for all of you to do as well. Consider that you don’t know what’s right for a person better than they do. Understand that disbelieving in a religion doesn’t make you wiser than those who believe. Internalize that life is more complicated than that. 10/

I know it’s hard seeing a queer friend struggle in a homophobic, transphobic church. It hurts me too. But they are not JUST queer. They are also Mormon. You can’t only respect parts of a person’s identity and claim to be a friend. When it comes to love, it IS all-or-nothing. 11/

So that’s basically my whole rant. Hopefully I made everyone a little upset (but not too upset). If you only take one thing from this thread though, let it be this: our attention should be on the men at the top who could push us forward unified but don’t. They’re the problem. 12/

Also: MORMONISM IS NOT OWNED BY THE CHURCH. It’s yours if you want it. No matter who you are there is room in this faith for you, if not in the Church then somewhere on the margins. It’s pretty fun out here so just keep that in mind. Thanks for reading, please don’t hate me. 13//