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I wish I could truly be myself, no filters, no pretending just me. It& #39;s so hard to let loose while I stream or with anyone that isn& #39;t like a best friend or partner. Makes the connections I make with people seem really fake because of having to be a certain way or get cancelled.
I have a sick sense of humor, have controversial opinions, use words that trigger some people and I am quite unfiltered with maybe a handful of people. I like to "troll" and poke fun at people. I wish I could share that part of myself with everyone but honestly it terrifies me.
I feel like I am lying to everyone by trying to be politically correct all the time, I am a very loving, kind and honestly somewhat of a mommy to my close friends because it& #39;s just how I am but also not a lot get to see it because both of these sides of me are so drastic.
My inbetween is what I portray to be and it& #39;s not me, I do it because I& #39;m scared of accidentally offending someone because we live in a day and age that if you do 1 thing wrong you get cancelled.
Everyone likes to pretend like they never did anything wrong, ever.
Everyone likes to pretend like they never did anything wrong, ever.
I have done plenty of wrong things and most likely will still do a few more wrong things in my life, but I also grow and learn. Everyday I work towards being better because I want to be better and now more and more I just want to be myself without fear.
Without fear that people will hate me, because that will be me. People follow some of these hate trains because they are scared of being rejected but it& #39;s all a lie, a lot of SM is a lie because most people just show you what they want you to see.
I just want to be free, because it feels so good when I am just being me, no filters no nothing with my partner. It makes me feel really happy and I want to feel that free and share the real me with people. I want my viewers to support ME and not who I want them to see.
Sorry for the rambles, just felt like sharing my thoughts. 
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