I opt out of tomorrow's holiday. My relatives were forced to give up who they were to get war benefits. They were so impacted by racism and discrimination that they felt they had to hide the indigenous aspects of themselves in order to obtain and keep jobs.

As a result, even though I only have one white grandparent - the other three are métis - I grew up without the connections between indigenous culture and spirituality and the way that my family lived with the land. No indigenous language. This ongoing feeling of being not enough

in indigenous spaces, and resentment towards the government for all of these things.

I know lots of people have it "better here" - but I don't think that's a good enough standard. This country is built on racism. Stolen land, stolen languages, stolen children, stolen lives. Continuing the practices of residential schools through the social work system.

Being "better than other places" but still living this theft and racism every day is not good enough to celebrate. Having to reclaim my own self is not a thing to celebrate.

I end up taking these celebrations personally. They hurt.

If you're going to celebrate July 1st, I wholeheartedly encourage you to donate some money to indigenous-led charities (do your research here). If you cant't donate, share indigenous voices tomorrow. Educate your families & friends. It feels like the least you can do. #CanadaDay