A short
After burying two boys I remember the comments attempting to be empathetic. The ones that truly hurt were ones that attempted to equate my pain over my boys to a similar experience in the speaker’s life. The one that stands out? “I had two dogs die recently”

I was taken aback as I knew this person was well intentioned. I’ve received many such comments since then. Most people mean well when they say things like that. If they can find a way to relate...we can have a common pain...a common humanity

Every time I hear comments like that though it’s jarring-kindness isn’t predicated upon a shared experience

Similarly I’ve been seeing a lot of comparisons with social justice topics and it is feeling very very weird to me? Y’all...we don’t have to make them all equal in order to fight for equity. Each issue is unique. Womanist scholars have proven that to me

When we make all justice issues the same...it feels a bit reductionist. It also feels weird when someone from the margins is quoted to prove your point. Let’s continue to advocate and learn but please don’t throw them in a bowl. They all need to be studied and heard. Individually

Example-fighting against racism is in no way fighting against misogyny. They aren’t related at all. To fight for women I need to do that work...separately. It’s a long path. Also vice versa

Lastly, the rationale feels-if we don’t tie all the justice issues together...who will fight for ALL the issues? That’s manipulation people have to do the work. As someone who is personally trying to evolve I don’t force anyone else to evolve with me.