Sometimes I feel so disconnected from the LGBTQ+ community bc there’s such toxic beliefs from some ppl so here’s a thread written at 5 am:

NB and he/him lesbians are 100% valid. Pronouns do not automatically equal a person’s gender, much like how some nb ppl are comfortable with using gendered pronouns aka she/her or he/him

Lesbians can feel a disconnect from “traditional” cis/hetero womanhood due to fetishization & the belief by some cis men that they can “change their minds.” Thus some lesbians don’t perceive themselves or want to be recognized by society as a woman bc it can lead to stereotyping

Those who are a nb/he lesbian do NOT owe you discourse over their the validity of their own existence simply bc you cannot fathom the possibility that gender orientation and gender expression are NOT the same and thus pronouns are NOT restricted to specific XYZ

However, you CANNOT be a bi lesbian. This is highly toxic and leads to the stereotype that lesbians can still be attracted to men—aka the “change your mind” reference. You can be bisexual with a lean towards women/feminine ppl/etc, but no lesbian is attracted to men.

The same goes for ppl not believing bisexual people with a lean towards women are simply unrealized lesbians. No. They CAN be (meaning comphet plays a part), but simply because they have a much heavier lean do NOT mean they‘re not bi. It invalidates ppls natural attraction.

The misconception of bisexual versus pansexual. Thereve been discourses that bisexual ppl are not attracted to nb/similar ppl, but instead strictly afab/amab, whereas pansexuality is open to everyone. This is not the case AT ALL & anyone who says this is spewing toxic bullshit

Although the definition of bi/pan can vary aka some see them as synonyms and some see it as bi ppl experience different forms of attractions for different genders whereas for pan ppl—

this experience is the same, instantly denying a person’s validity as either due to the above assumption and calling them transphobic is also toxic

Transmeds. Access to proper medical professionals and prescriptions, etc, is a form of privilege whether you like it or not, and not every trans person is able to have this access

Bc of this, someone who identifies as trans might chose not to flatten their bc the only option is to tape & that is NOT healthy and can be very damaging. Proper, good quality binders can often be expensive, but this doesn’t stop trans ppl from wearing ill fitting ones or taping—

due to both this toxic belief that you can only be trans if you are adhering strictly to the traditional MAN versus WOMAN binary and you can only be trans if you bind/on meds/etc. Gender and sexuality is a SPECTRUM

Forcing trans men to be macho and trans women to be feminine as only means of acceptance is t o x i c and it relies on the belief of a strict gender binary. (But I’m not saying you can’t be trans and masculine/feminine at all)

Similar, those who are non-binary are also within a, say it with me kids, SPECTRUM. there’s agender, neutrosis, bigender, trigender, anything & everything—but dismissing a nb person bc they don’t automatically use they/them pronouns is ridiculous.

Some are uncomfortable with these pronouns or are much more comfortable with the ones they were raised with, some feel comfortable with she/they/he pronouns and like them to be used interchangeably. If you are uncertain of someone’s pronoun preferences even if nb, ask them.

Also cis ppl—put your own pronouns in your bios!!!!!! It helps normalize all pronoun usages!!!!

But like I said, LGBTQ people do NOT owe you to an entire discussion over the validity of their existence simply bc you “don’t get it” or you’ve seen “something else on tumblr,” etc.

Do your own goddamn research and stop subjecting ppl to the doubt that they’re valid bc your traditional preconceptions and assumptions cannot understand —

that everything is on a spectrum. binaries are made to help box ppl into categories for their own comfort. Get out of your comfort zone and learn about the LGBTQ community from ppl who are not Kalvin Garrah or Blair White or Jeffree Star, etc.

Idk if you cishetero, educate yourself for the sake of your LGBT peers, and help normalize their identities. Don’t look at one google result and be satisfied—dig deep and ask yourself questions, challenge the toxic notions you’ve been raised and surrounded with.

However, I know I’m not 100% perfect and educated myself, so I’m always open to learning and listening, but I am not open to denying people the label of LGBTQ and gatekeeping, regardless of their personal beliefs. It isn’t my job to educate each person I don’t see eye to eye with

Also unless it’s specified stated in this thread, please don’t make assumptions of other things based on what I’ve said. Ask me to expand for my POV, but I am not gonna be Google bc I am sleepy as hell, but determined to type some long ass thread full of >:0 towards toxic beliefs