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tw: angst, drugs, self-harming behavior, canon-typical violence, rough sex
Dabi has a high pain tolerance and the members of the LoV are impressed. He’s tough and can take a lot, they think. Taking a jaw-breaking punch with nothing more than a click of his tongue.
Dabi has a high pain tolerance and the members of the LoV are impressed. He’s tough and can take a lot, they think. Taking a jaw-breaking punch with nothing more than a click of his tongue.
Dabi doesn’t ever reply to their subtly admiring comments, even if he appears somewhat smug when they ask how he does it. Hawks is impressed too, first. But he is puzzled too, wondering how Dabi's poor stamina and scrawny appearance go together with his pain tolerance.
Hawks doesn’t think of it much when Dabi occasionally smokes a blunt after particularly rough fucks. It’s a way to relax, the hero thinks. Until one night, when Dabi’s face is contorted with pain after Hawks fucked him hard and rough, like Dabi wanted him to.
Dabi gets off to the pain, he can relate. Still, he freezes when he sees Dabi’s bared teeth and the hand poorly covering his eyes. Hawks asks him what’s wrong, but Dabi only bites back a high pitched “Fuck off.” That night, Hawks finds out about Dabi’s drugs and painkillers.
He doesn’t want to have a hand in Dabi drugging himself, and it’s surely not Dabi’s yelling or the tirade of insults the villain throws at him which has him giving in eventually. It’s the throaty sob that rips through Dabi, having him curl up and tremble like aspen leaves.
That sob is like a stab through his guts, but Hawks doesn’t know what really causes the nausea he feels: seeing Dabi miserable like this, knowing that he’s killing himself with that junk or fearing that he might have caused some of the pain Dabi feels. Either way, it’s sickening.
It’s almost like some second-hand relief for him to see Dabi’s features relax and his hand slide down his face, once the painkillers kick in. Hawks stays by his side, watching how Dabi’s muscles relax visibly, listening how the agonized whimpers fade into alleviated sighs.
Hawks doesn’t know if it’s the effects of the drugs or something else, when Dabi explains in a low, monotone voice that it’s the fire inside him, burning like a constant fever, eating him alive from the inside out. The drugs put a lid on it, making it somewhat bearable, he says.
The hero knows it’s the truth though, bare and raw, when the hand that covered Dabi’s eyes before comes searching for his, searing fingertips hesitatingly fumbling for some proximity. When he doesn’t pull away at the touch, their fingers entwine on their own.
Dabi sighs again in comfort as Hawks’ thumb brushes over the back of his hand. Hawks can’t help but wonder if he really helps him, or if he’s just another drug for Dabi that will end up killing him eventually.
