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Growing up, I listened to my friends tell me of alcohol, clubbing & pedestalizing women; "if you don't do these things right now, they will catch you in adulthood". Here I am today. I have never been to a club, never done alcohol, & I am quite alright. I live in my reality.
People try to impose their realities onto you; try to make you feel inadequate for being who you are comfortable with. I ask the same people today: "why were you doing all that?" Their answer, "I don't know, man. I didn't even like it". So then, why are you afraid of being you?
It's alright if you do all that: alcohol, cheating (moral poverty), & clubbing. It's your reality, & it's okay. But stop trying to convince other people that their aversion for the same is a deformity which will be punished later in adulthood. You don't need henchmen to matter.
Learn this. There are no mandatory phases in life. One can be mature by 20, and another a thoroughgoing buffoon by 40. You shape your reality, by embracing things and people who make you happy, Make you comfortable, Make you feel safe: Make you grow. Do you, I'll do me.
Same individuals who embraced dysfunctional alcoholism then, are the same ones who do the same today; cheated then, still cheat in marriage. Slept with married men then, can't believe there are good men if you stood on your head. It's not about phases, it's about you.
And especially for men, if you don't learn to beat your own path, you will spend your entire life servicing other people's joys, ambitions & proclivities; At the expense of your masculinity & self-actualization. Do that which brings you functional joy. You matter to you first.
