a strange effect of the massive uprising that happened while doing my diss fieldwork is that i've felt disconnected from work that i had done up to that point. everything felt TOO relevant. i lit myself into feeling like i hadn't rly been thinking abt relevant issues before

i knew i was disassociating from my own experiences w/ it all bc i could feel myself not feeling the gravity of things that i was definitely witnessing in person. i knew it was traumatic. i was able to do amaze interviews/data collection/thinking but couldn't talk about my feels.

anyway, i've been processing trauma & that part is ok now. but the imposter feeling like i didn't rly care about youth participation, class, policing, & institutions in post-dictatorship BEFORE the uprising has been weird. i did exams. i wrote proposals. i was doing it irl! lol

plot twist: this thread is actually about to be about visual anthropology, not my psyche