A little over a year ago I broke up with my abusive ex boyfriend. We were together for 3 years (I was 19-21 and he was 22-25). In the beginning everything was great, just like all new relationships are. But once the honeymoon stage left, that’s when the real problem began

he often would initiate sex and when I would turn him down (for no other other reason then that I wasn’t in the mood) he would be become so angry with me. He wouldn’t want to talk/touch/cuddle with me at all after that.

Often told me that if he didn’t get it with me he would find it somewhere else. Would tell me that I was being mean because I wouldn’t have sex with him. It became a chore for me to be intimate with him and often times I would cry to myself while it was happening.

I never saw it as abuse, I just thought it was something we disagreed on and fought about regularly. Knowing what I know now, and through a lot of therapy I learned that I was being put through sexual abuse.

For a long time I blamed myself. Blamed myself for not leaving him earlier. Blamed myself for letting it happen to me. Thought there was something wrong with me because I didn’t want to be intimate with my own boyfriend.

I struggled for a long time with this and I wanted to tell my story to let other women and men know that this isn’t normal and if you are going through this or something similar, leave. It’s abuse and it’s never your fault.

If you ever need someone to talk to about abuse you can always reach out to me. I will always listen and try to give my best advice. Even if you don’t want advice I’ll just listen and be there for you.

No one should have to feel the way I felt after I left him. You have a voice and a purpose and no one should silence your feelings or belittle you or make you feel crazy just because of something you don’t feel comfortable doing.