Things my friends have texted me as fe3h blue lions students (mostly sylvain, regrettably)

Sylvain: Now I’m scared, horny, AND in pain

Sylvain: I can’t tell if I’m hungry, thirsty, or horny I’m having a great time

Felix: Pegging is for gay men who can’t admit they’re gay

Sylvain: we’re both so horny its only a matter of time

Ashe: But Dimitri has my heart, my soul, and soon he’ll even have my kids

Dimitri: I’d laugh at that but...I also wanna cry

Sylvain: like before i got all emotionally invested and shit

Dimitri: I know this is random but I made [edelgard] on sims for the sole purpose of destroying her life

Felix: [sylvain] took my virginity so its only fair I take [dimitri]’s virginity