There's a hadith that I hear quoted so erroneously so frequently (once before a man was about to sign his Nikah-which is incredibly concerning). And it's always in some tirade against women, let's take a look:

I've heard everything from "the Prophet said women are made from a bent rib" to "the Prophet said "not to try to make women good". Both are Misquotations and dangerously so. Enough of those encounters made me engage one of my teachers on the subject, here are some of his points:

1. Understand the connotation of terminology is culture specific.
2. Think about this for a second, every rib is BENT, a straight rib is NONFUNCTIONAL. You're imbuing Medical terminology with moral connotation, why? Ever think of the bias you took to your reading of the hadith?

2a. Curved and Straight here are not spiritual value judgments. You've been socialized to symbolize them that way and translations don't help tbh... Here they're "form" descriptions the Prophet is using to elucidate his metaphor that hes building on the Genesis narative.

3. The Prophet understands the Sahaba may have an issue with their wives so what does he do? Uses a metaphor they're religiously and PHYSICALLY familiar with. Anyone who's engaged in Martial athletics should know this- you become extremely cognizant of your Ribs.

4. The Prophet say's the "highest"(the part you consider most important) portion of the Rib(which could mean the Tubercle or Costal Cartilage) is built the way Allah has intended it, curved. (As your wives are the way Allah intended, different- but perfect in their design).

5. You would not try to take force to your ribs, why do you seek to change your wives? To try and make a Rib uncurved is nonsensical as is wanting your wives to be different to Allah's design.

6. The Prophet says if you leave it, the Rib will stay curved. So people think, "ahh so the Prophet is asking us to change our wives but with a fine touch right???" Ya, if you want a punctured lung and a lacerated spleen. Bro the point of a rib is that IT IS curved.

7. This Hadith has nothing to do with a deficiency in "women". It's the opp. The Prophet uses "curved' to make them understand, the part we consider most important in the rib is "diff by design". Force applied will break it, as trying to make your wives like you will harm them.

"So treat your women kindly" I'll always say Hadith is a minefield topic and some rando quoting http://Sunnah.com  isn't helping. Consult your scholars, understand this is a deep science, that, even, many Imams are not specialized in, let alone laymen like us.

There's an odd attempt in many Muslim circles to make Femininity deficient relative to Masculinity but the Quranic discourse is the exact opp. When it talks about Maryam, the Quran grounds her in her femininity and then basks her with praise.

Maryam's mother chooses to offer her Child to Allah before birth, expecting a son. Akin to the Birth Nazarite status of Samson the Judge in the Bible and potentially John the Baptist. But she has a daughter and comments, almost distraught, "I have birthed her female"(3:36)

Allah interjects in the midst of her quote "Allahs knows better what she delivered, the male is not like the female " - Check Dr. Sohaib's thread for the significance of that wording https://twitter.com/tafsirdoctor/status/1049685577740759043?s=20

In the following Ayah, Allah says he accepts Maryam through a "perfect acceptance". The Quran elevates Maryam, glorifying her while acknowledging her femininity and never in spite of it. Fiqh is one thing but a false premise of female deficiency is unacceptable