Being nonchalantly suicidal my entire life is so funny to me because like I always want to die but don’t plan to act on it but like if I suffer a small inconvenience that would probably just make someone else like mildly upset I’m like “today should be the day” but I’m too lazy

Most people picture suicidal people as seeming sad but honestly I’m just chillin most of the time with the thought of how I could easily end it all in the back of my mind at all times. Doesn’t mean I wanna do it. But the feeling is there and always has been for me

I wouldn’t do it because I love my family and I don’t like actively plan anything out. I just have always had that thought in my head since I was little that I’m just not that big a fan of life and could easily just like not do it anymore.