Men,

It's ok to be awkward.

I've been thinking a lot lately about why so many men seem to go full toxicity.

Can't help but feel like it goes along with the whole, "Show no emotion, be the perfect robot," schtick that has been taught.

Fuck that. Be Awkward. Be Real.

I think because the average cishet male doesn't have very many friends outside of that circle, they don't realize that women see the world very differently.

The harder you try to make yourself look a certain way...the faker you'll look to them.

The trap of the Patriarchy is making you think that "This Way" is "The Only Way", when really it's just been, "The Way These Certain Men Have Done It And They're Dead And You Haven't Bothered To Reexamine It".

You can't connect to others through delusions of the past.

The truth is that everyone is different. And that there is no monolithic "Women". No ONE LINE TO CATCH THEM ALL.

It's gonna require you to just be open, honest, and real. With the understanding that you very well could be rejected.

And that's ok.

We've gotten out of touch with what it means to have a conversation. Even among us men.

Whether we like it or not, the way the system is...we're the predators. And I think after seeing all the confessions and outings this week, we have to admit it to ourselves.

I know I sat down and thought about a lot of interactions I've had and questioned myself. Regardless of if you think you're a "good one" or not, we owe everyone that at the minimum.

In that questioning, you have to be honest. Did you actually have a healthy and open dialog?

And for us men, sometimes the key to having a healthier dialog is to talk less and listen more.

Not just listen, but follow through even when we *don't understand*.

Accepting change with a deep understanding that the system is invisibility weighted in our favor.

Doing all those things for the first time is going to be awkward as fuck.

Stop running from that. Stop excusing it.

We're all learning new things. Hard not to when we've lived under this stuff all of our lives, as has any other man you know.

The sense of having to be "James Bond" or something of the ilk is misleading.

Smoothness is something people perceive, not something you create.

We've grown up thinking that's what we should emulate and oh boy is it a lie.

Really though....I think it's time for us to just mind our own business.

I don't mean this incel shit where you complain about being a celibate monk.

But like......what if we just took a page out of Goku's book and just went off to train somewhere.

No jumping in DM's.
No actually-ing other people.

Just working on us. Discovering what WE want to be without the influence of dead men.

Exploring things our "forefathers" would have had a heart attack over.

I look at shit like Glinners descent into madness and just feel fucking embarrassed.

It's like watching someone have the slowest controlled descent into a mountain ever.

I sure as fuck don't want that to be me, my friends, or my future sons.

If you someone can't think of how to change for others, then at least do the change for YOURSELVES.

Learn to put words to your feelings.

Learn to shackle your anger.

Read less stuff written by men.

If your circle has no women, question the fuck out of that.

The TLDR of all of this is simple.

How to talk to women?
How not to get canceled?

The answer is we change OURSELVES. And then maybe everyone won't have to fear us.

It's on us. It's always been on us and we know it.

Awkward ourselves to a better future.

*whew*

Had to get that off my chest. I've been wanting to say something and couldn't quite figure out how to put it until now.