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Back in 2016, I was sexually assaulted by a well known boy from Ratcliffe, who then moved to Loughborough Grammar. The fact that it has taken me 4 years to accept it and feel brave enough to share my experience is heartbreaking.
He was my introduction to sex and boys. I was always rejected and had never had any involvement in boys until then. My self esteem was always very low, so any attention I received, I craved.
This made me very vulnerable. I have tried to speak up in the past but was always doubted, so i kept it to myself. But now i’m not hiding. I refuse to feel dirty and used because somebody doesn’t understand NO.
I was 14, and I went to a party. He was very flirty and I liked the attention. He kissed me, he was my first kiss. I wasn’t overly comfortable but I accepted it because it wasn’t the end of the world. He was very handsy, but i ignored it. because i didn’t know otherwise.
I woke up the next morning to a message off him, asking if we could meet up and get to know eachother. I felt wanted for the first time, I agreed because I was so desperate to be loved. This is when it all went wrong.
He dragged me around Quorn, looking around for somewhere for us to “chill”. Evidently, this wasn’t the case, but actually that he wanted somewhere quiet to violate me without others knowing.
He pushed me against a wall and started to kiss me, I didn’t object to this as I felt more comfortable to do this as I started to like him. However he started to pull down his joggers and forced me to put my hand on his erect penis. I felt really uncomfortable.
He pushed and pulled my hand to pleasure him. I didn’t enjoy it at all. I then removed my hand. He took this as an invite to shove his hand down my jeans and force his fingers inside me. I repeatedly asked him to stop, that I wasn’t ready, that I didn’t feel comfortable.
He ignored me, and continued, holding my head up with his other hand to kiss me. I felt sick. I gave up saying no. I was powerless. Luckily his dad rang him to tell him he had arrived to pick him up. I felt so relived.
I told my friend what happened, but I was too embarrassed to tell them that I felt uncomfortable. The week after at school, it was spread that me and this guy did “bits”. Nasty rumours were spread about me, i was completely demonised, but due to fear, I laughed along with them.
I tried to tell friends out of confidence. the ones who believe me are still in my life today. but the ones that didn’t, discussed my business and made out like i was looking for attention. i was heartbroken.
But finally, this is not me looking for sympathy. I hope this thread gives other girls the confidence to speak up about their experiences. I love you all and I believe you 
