1/ While I expected backlash on my marriage thread from those don't know any better, the "trad" crowd showed themselves to be quite an embarrassment.

Maybe they should direct their ire at Imam Ghazali instead.

2/ Perhaps they can comment on this excerpt from the following link: https://www.ghazali.org/works/marriage.htm

It's the section titled "Asserting Authority."

3/ The Fourth [issue is] not so to indulge in dalliance, good manners, and conformity in following her whims that he would corrupt her manners and lose respect altogether in her eyes.

Rather, he should observe moderation, never abandon dignity and seriousness no matter how…

4/ …much evil he sees, nor open the door to abetting abomination; rather, whenever he sees an act which violates divine legislation and manliness (muru'ah), he should become resentful and angry.

5/ Al-Hasan said, “Verily whoever obeys the whims of his wife will be cast by God into the Fire.”

'Umar said, “Disagree with your wives, because disagreement with them is a blessing.”

It was also said, “Consult them, then disagree with them.”

6/ The Prophet* said, “Miserable is he who is a slave to his wife.”

He said so because if the husband obeys her whims, he becomes her slave and thereby miserable; for God made him possessor over the woman but if he makes her possessor of himself, he reverses the order of…

7/ …things, overturns the matter, and obeys Satan when he said, “and surely I will command them and they will change Allah's creation” [Qur’an 4:119]. It is a man's right to be followed, not to be a follower.

8/ God has appointed men as trustees over women, and has called the husband “master”; and the Lord has said, “and they met her lord and master at the door” [Qur’an 12:25]. For if the master is transformed into a slave, then he has exchanged God's grace for thanklessness.”

The…

9/ …woman's behavior depends on you: If you slacken her reins a little, she will run off for a long distance; should you loosen the harness a span (fitr), she will take a cubit (dhira'); but if you restrain her and treat her firmly where firmness is called for, you will be her…

10/ …master. Al-Shafi'i* said, “There are three who will insult you if you honor them: the woman, the servant, and the Nabataean.” He was referring to pure kindness and not harshness mixed with compliance, or coarseness with gentleness.

11/ Arab women used to teach their daughters [how] to test their husbands. One would say to her daughter, “Test your husband before taking a step and before showing boldness toward him.

12/ Remove the edge of his spear; should he remain quiet, hack bones with his sword; and if he should still be quiet, then put the saddle on his back and ride him, for he is your donkey.”

13/ At any rate, it is with justice that the heavens and the earth are upheld; whatever exceeds its limits turns into its opposite.

For that reason it is necessary to follow the path of moderation both in disagreement and in agreement, and to follow the truth in it all, so as…

14/ …to be safe from their [women's] evil; because their scheming is great, their evil is widespread; their predominant characteristics are bad manners and weak minds, and this cannot be set straight except through a certain amount of kindness mixed with diplomacy.

15/ The Prophet* said, “A virtuous woman among women is like an a`sam among a hundred crows”; an a'sam is a [rare] white-footed crow.

16/ In the will of Luqman to his son [it is stated]: “My son, beware of the evil woman, for she will age you before your time; and beware of the evils of women, as they do not encourage good deeds; and be very careful of the better ones among them.”

17/ The Prophet* said, “Beware of the three causes of poverty,” and among them he listed the “evil woman” for she is the one who ages a man before his time. In other words, “If you come to her, she will curse you; and if you are away from her, she will be unfaithful to you.”

18/ The Prophet said concerning the best of women, “If [only] you were the companions of Joseph”; that is, turning Abu Bakr away from prayer indicates that, on your part, you have ignored the truth and turned to pleasure.

19/ Almighty God said when they [women] revealed the secret of the Prophet,* “If you two turn in repentance to Him, your hearts are indeed so inclined” [Qur’an 66:4 ('Ali)]; that is, so disposed. He [God] said that about the best of the Prophet's* wives.”

20/ The Prophet* said, “No people dominated by a woman can succeed.”“

'Umar scolded his wife when she talked back to him saying, “You are no more than a toy in a corner of the house; if we have need of you [we take you], otherwise, you sit as you are.”

21/ Thus there is evil and weakness in them [women]; while diplomacy and harshness are a cure for evil, consolation and mercy are the cure for weakness.

22/ The skillful doctor is one who can estimate the amount of cure needed for the ailment; so let the man first know her character through experience, then let him deal with her in a manner that will set her straight in accordance with her state.

End