One of the most interesting things I saw in Mpumalanga was how (married) queer couples performed gender roles. There is a dominant partner and a submissive one. Before you knitpick, the couples are very much happy and have been together for YEARS. It got me thinking:

Most of us Queer folk on Twitter oppose heteronormative roles and I’ve seen us trying to change mindsets regarding it. I was generally interested, for example the ‘femmes’ treated the ‘butch’ like the dominant partner, so they have to provide for their femme & femme is homemakers

Femmes also followed rights of passages that women would in marriage i.e Kist and having dowry/lobola paid for them. BUT one thing I saw was that people respected each and that they’re same sex but there were these roles that they felt inclined to perform & it genuinly works.

The couples have been together for years and it genuinely works. It got me thinking about how I have been preaching against heteronormative behavior in queer couples while there were people who want it & it works for them. I was out of touch with what is happening in other places

I was advised I need to come back to MP to find my husband.

I don’t think I could, I am not submissive at all.