Holy shit guys. I just added 20 years in like 20 seconds. So my power is out because lol thunder storms and I’m sitting on my bed reading then all of a sudden I hear a clamaity. It’s loud. It’s getting louder. It knocks things over. It’s fucking dark as shit mind.

Then. It’s getting on my bed. This giant mass of a shadow making crinkling noises. As it approaches my chest I just think “okay. So this is it. This is how I die.” With a mix of “well this is fucking 2020 so seems legit too.

But then. Then all of a sudden I see eyes gleaming in the darker shadows of the noises and I turn on the flashlight on my phone. I hold my breath tightly, my heart squeezing in my lungs.

And then I realize it’s my fucking 28 pound cat with his head stuck in the handle of a paper bag he can’t get off. So I removed it and he meowed at me like it was my fault and then promptly tried to get back into the paper bag.

Cats man. The offender when it is not pitch black.