Now then.

Let's talk for a hot second about the intersection of racism and sexual abuse. Y'all ain't think I FORGOT, did you?

All this last week we saw countless story, after story, after story.

Did anyone notice that none of the victims were Black, or WOC? There's a reason for that, so let's unpack it.

Because trust me: non-white non-men catch PLENTY of the same shit. But we never come forward. And if we do? Well, there's entire books and groups ready to shout us down.

I'm nervous even writing about this because I'm waiting for the backlash.

That backlash is going to be from every angle, too:

-it's going to be white women claiming I'm 'diminishing their pain.'
-it's going to be men saying I'm being self-serving.
-it's going to be both saying I'm dismissive.

It's a tale as old as time.

So, why haven't any non-men of color spoke out? It's easy.

-from a race perspective we aren't taken seriously
-from a gender persepctive (re: non-men), if we don't take an absolute title of 'woman' we won't be believed.

I'm going to focus on race, specifically.

So before we continue, I'm going to share my history of sexual abuse.

CW: mentions of genitals, sexual misconduct, grooming, violence and abuse

(this is a filler tweet to remind of cws include mentions of genital, sexual misconduct, grooming, violence, and abuse)

I have too many to count, but I can start back as early as 11 years old.

at 11, my mom started consistently/aggressively groping + touching me.
at 14, her friends began consistently hitting on me. Comments like 'you got a monkey for a youngin', or 'they sure grow up fast.'

at 16, some of her friends actively tried to pursue me.
at 17, one tried and called me an up and coming prudish bitch for declining his advances.

we had a man living at our house that would try to enter my room nightly.

as (specifically) black women, we're robbed of our agency as SOON as we hit puberty.

Hell, we're robbed of agency the moment our parents decide that they want us to wear a cute tube top and their friends comment on how 'we're gonna be fast and ghetto' growing up.

This is utilized against us to debunk and invalidate any and all claims we ever try to make involving sexual misconduct. We don't get permission to speak out about our abusers because we're sexualized immediately and it's our fault for existing.

This last week was difficult, 100% But seriously: note how many people were POC.

Almost 300 reports and I can guarantee that less than 5% of them are. Want to know why?

Because when we speak up, our threads are half supporters, half people blaming us, again, for existing: https://twitter.com/omgitsdaja/status/1276057448558866432

And yea, you read that right: CELEBRITIES hopped in on the SHAMING brigade. Not the helping team, the SHAMING TEAM.

And that's IF our threads even gain the same traction as our white counterparts: https://twitter.com/TemptressTeelia/status/1276634126636941312

And yea, that even includes when they're signal boosted: https://twitter.com/a_bokchoi/status/1276656044081475584

Note how these aren't flooded with support, with 'sorry this happeneds', with 'here for yous', 'DM mes', 'you're strong and brave for speaking outs'.

It's a ghost town.

(leaving this open, but I've been summoned for food, gonna brb and delete this tweet when back)

Kidding, I have a crappy laptop, eating and still talking about it.

Let's pick up here, and the sentiment is echoed by Jewellry immediately after: https://twitter.com/SleepyMia145/status/1277375247247867906

We're robbed of our agency as early as 10.
Then when things happen to us? We're on our own to figure out what to do.

It's disheartening because we know there is no actual support structure for us. And if there is? It's 100% self made.

"We're expected to take care of ourselves": this hurts because its a direct side effect of how we're viewed in general: aggressive, brash, bratty, rude, even unbearable.

We don't need "saving" because "we have an attitude, so go save yourself."

I've even seen men go out of their way to apologise to non-POC non-men, make lists 'helping' with callouts, go out of their way to say 'men do better'---

but black women who take the risk?
no signal boosts.
no retweets.
no support.

'y'all got it.'

Black women (again, I'm purposely focusing Black women) have no exit. If we were to report? Look at Daja's thread.

Look at how fast loving our body is thrown back at us. "It's your fault for going out, acting like that, dressing like that, etc."

This intersection is 100% defined first by how we're perceived, second by if we're "valuable enough" to save. Overwhelmingly, we get shooed away or have to pass our stories through a 'more digestible outlet.'

People don't want to unpack their latent biases and dislike of black non-men out the gate, and it translates directly to 'can black non-men even be victims? Nah, they got all that attitude and thought they the shit in that bodysuit, so they can own it.'

Again: AS EARLY AS 10.

As early as 10 our bodies are redefined as 'to be consumed'. If we decline, we're prudes and whores.
If we accept, we're whores.
If we're accosted, abused, assaulted? "yea but that's how y'all are..."

It's tiring.

And again, we get bare minimum backup. I went and double checked Tee's thread and overwhelmingly, coming to her aid?

It's mostly black women.

How are we supposed to convince people that black non-mens bodies don't default to consumption?

This is exacerbated further by the response of the man accused.

People didn't come for his neck.
They didn't mass tweet him.
The same men yelling 'believe women, do better fellow men' are nowhere to be found.

Where's that energy at?

And no, it has fuck all anything to do with 'the timing'-there's people who have nuked themselves from the internet STILL having stories exposing them, and the women speaking out are getting mountains of support.

So miss me with excuses around a Twitter algorithm/placement.

I wanted to keep it as simple as 'just say you hate black non-men and be done', but it isn't that simple.

Y'all have GOT to start unpacking and unlearning your racial biases, because the shit can-and will-get us killed.

(seriously, if you don't believe that, never forget that the same crowd who called nurses and medical workers "heroes" have nothing on the table in trying to bring Breonna Taylor's murderers to justice. Her name is falling off of trend. Where is the support?)

There's also an the element of never seeing black non-men as 'vulnerable.' As 'being hurt.' Black non-men have to be strong and fighting 24/7/365.

So our stories are washed away.
We're the faces of movements-so how could we not handle men who abuse us, right?

Our stories of how me being dressed like this in a CVS means nothing to those who view us as "a potential deviant themselves"

Literally today, in a CVS getting wound wash and a Kit-Kat. In my bummiest attire.

People read this, see this and go 'it was just a compliment, get over it' and don't see how my agency is consistently discarded because as a black woman, aka someone who has been sexualized since 11, I should be flattered a stranger followed me around asking if I'm married.

So it makes me feel some kind of way when I know our stories will always default to 'unimportant/false', because of how society has convinced everyone that 'black non-men are slutty anyway. If they weren't they wouldn't be out twerking, or gassing each other up.'

In turn, people are allowed to abuse us freely.
Because they know we won't even be believed in a wave of stories coming out about how absolutely foul and disgusting a lot of these men in industry/gaming are.

And don't walk in here and say 'Vanessa that isn't true': non-men of color have been telling some of y'all for the better chunk of years about our abusers. About abusers in general.

And y'all do nothing.
It speaks volumes.
The only difference in the accusation is our skin tone.

I have no doubt in my mind that every black non-man I follow/follows me has a story that could be added to the pool of stories in this last week. I cannot tell you how many stories of bodily exploitation I have. I cannot tell you how many men are well off at the expense of me.

But I don't, and likely won't: because I know by proxy of my year round tan, the likelihood men who can facilitate change believe me is low.

It is FAR easier to look at my above photo and say 'yea but look at how your hoodie barely covers your ass.'

'but look at how you wore leggings instead of anything else.'
'but look at how your chat talks on a regular.'
'but look at how you wanna be cute all the time.'
'but why you need help? you always talk big shit on Twitter.'

or my favorite that I hear lobbed at successful black non-men constantly:

'but you was on the glow up, you stay putting in work. you for real you couldn't just tell these men off?'

Racial bias has always, and unless we work on it, WILL always keep black non-men from speaking up. Guaranteed.

We don't get the luxury of being viewed as soft, as vulnerable, as manipulated, as abused. Because no matter how it is spun we somehow are asking for it or deserve it.

It's one of the many ways black non-men are consistently forced to 'just deal.'
We get no say in the matter.

"You can't be a victim, ever; by proxy of maturing, you were likely promiscuous this entire time. We see how y'all move and behave in public. It's your fault people of all kinds view you that way."

And all we did was grow up.

Tired.

Another thing: this inadvertently came up, and I know the person didn't mean it:

It's also about how, the second I want to talk about how this impacts us from a RACE, standpoint, I'm invalidated because I don't want to talk about everyone.

There's no secret that this impacts all non-men. However, not all non-men are impacted the same. It's why I'm focusing on BLACK non-men.

Because BLACK non-men are the ones overwhelmingly who did not speak up/out, and I'm explaining why.

But this is also a common barrier and trip-up tactic (Again, the person asking meant no ill-will-but I know many others do), and why I said early on this is what divisive brigades will flock to as 'proof' that pointing this out is 'divisive.'

But it isn't divisive.
Black non-men don't get the luxury of growing up and being allowed to explore their sexuality, being allowed to question, being allowed to understand our bodies comfortably as we grow into them....yet are shamed constantly for existing in them.

So when it comes time to open up about abuse to our bodies, we say nothing.

We know that we aren't viewed as a vulnerable group so much as a promiscuous and fast one. We've been called such our entire adolescence onward.

People who walk in to accuse us of division for wanting to discuss the intersection between race and sexual abuse, and thusly use our race as a kind of Bigotry Shield to prevent us from EVER being victims of sexual assault by the hands of our peers?

Well.

Unpack it.