here we go I'm making a thread of all the characters in my currently unfolding backyard soap opera. I'm gonna start with our protagonist, simon the house finch. he is a man with one simple mission: to get some food from the feeder and live a good life.

while it may seem a simple mission, there is an obstacle in his way: the unruly Sparrow Gang. these are some shitty birds. they crowd the feeder in massive swarms, look indistinguishable from one another, are an invasive species, and are aggressive to other small birds

who needs to worry about sparrows when there's perfectly good food on the ground tho? these are Mary and Michael the mourning doves. they just chill out on the ground and pick at whatever the boys above drop down. and also chase out other doves when they see them

but this guy is a wild card. this is marty the grackle. usually he just chills on the ground but other times he'll dive bomb the feeder and tell all the sparrows to eat shit. I respect marty even tho grackles are kind of a pest species

and sometimes when the feeder is quiet this cardinal pair will make an appearance. let's call them Amadeus and Amanda. they are very cool and pretty birds who never do anything wrong.

next we have Mordecai the blue jay get it haha regular show reference lol. anyways he will make very occasional, brief visits and pick stuff up off the ground real quick before heading out. one time he was chased out by a screeching oriole. dudes got drama going on

and finally there is this robin who wasn't even near the feeder and was on the other side of my backyard just laying on the mulch like this. high off his ass. (he was actually just sunning he's fine)

I hope that soon I will be able to add more to this thread but for now these are the most common visitors at the feeder. hopefully one day the sparrows will fuck off...

some updates to this thread. last week there was an invasion of starlings but it seems as though the sparrows have not only successfully fended them off but have gained almost exclusive access to the feeder. little assholes

also a downy woodpecker was spotted at the suet cage which I am so excited about. "but they are the most common woodpeckers and people see them at feeders all the time" Well when the only birds you get at your feeders are fuckin sparrows seeing a woodpecker is pretty cool ok

also simon, the man who inspired this thread, has not been spotted since the day I started it. incredibly sad. hope he is well.