Years ago, I was scheduled for a double shift at Olive Garden. I told them my grandma died, and they said “well then can you just work one shift?” I was so furious they’d ask that, I never went back. Also I was lying, my grandma was fine, but still

Tfw you just quit the Anderson, Indiana Olive Garden in 2003

Hey if you like this dumb tweet that blew up, thanks! Also here’s a charity I like that helps single parents: https://wdc.org/ 

And I have a Sex and the City podcast ( @SexCidiotsPod) that is “funny” and you might “like.” I have now done all the things people do when a tweet goes off https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sex-and-the-cidiots/id1449228865

Okay and this http://instagam.com/kevinmccaff