I can’t do this anymore. I really just want everything to stop I can’t keep on doing this. But I’m scared of what will happen if I do it and the process of doing it too. Like what would other people think about me when I die? Will they think of the me as the pathetic guy who cant

make it past high school even though he did not have it as bad as most people do? Sometimes I feel like i only have these feelings because I want attention, or at least that is what I was told when I opened myself up my friend. They told me I didn’t have a right to be depressed

and maybe they were right. But these feelings and thoughts of selfharm keep coming to me. Maybe i really am a burden to everyone I mean my so called friends aren’t even probably my friends my teacher probably told them to be friends with me because they pitied me. None of my

relationships with my friends were never real in the end, they probably only pretended to be friends with me for an ulterior motive. In the end I am truly alone except of my family. I love my family but the thought of leaving the word just won’t leave my mind. I don’t want my

family to be sad though so I don’t know what to do. God I don’t know what’s real anymore I just want all the confusion to go away and just fucking d*e or something. But in the end do I really have the right to have these thoughts. I mean at least I have something to eat everyday

and some people who care about me so why do keep on having these thoughts? Why do they haunt me everyday and gets triggered over the tiniest things? Why do I have the sudden urge to selfh*rm over some bad grades even though I’ve received them before? These questions flood my head

and I really just can’t with them anymore I wish someone can pull me out of this dark hole I’ve buried myself in and tell me everything is ok even though life may not seem ok. I just want someone to talk to about my feelings. My parents and sister won’t get it they’ll probably

say I’m overexaggerating when I’m not I really do have these feelings and I want someone that understands me to talk to. I don’t know why it’s so hard to get these feelings out too i mean I literally switched to this account instead of my mine because I don’t want my followers

to see how hurt I am and I don’t want my family and friends to see me like this either. But today I finally urged myself to type all my emotions and feelings into this thread even though no one will see this. It may not seem much but I know it’s a step in the right direction