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Seeing everything that& #39;s blowing up over at OfflineTV and I have some thoughts:
Please, everyone, do not grab pitchforks. Do not attack. Do not "cancel". Just stop. Read. Reread. And don& #39;t jump to wrong or harmful conclusions. There& #39;s nothing to be gained from anger and vitriol.
Please, everyone, do not grab pitchforks. Do not attack. Do not "cancel". Just stop. Read. Reread. And don& #39;t jump to wrong or harmful conclusions. There& #39;s nothing to be gained from anger and vitriol.
The people at the center of the ordeal, you don& #39;t know. In fact 99.9% of the people reading don& #39;t know them personally. You get snippets, bits and pieces, vlogs and footage, and streams. You don& #39;t ever know every single detail. Not even the people INVOLVED know everything.
I have gone through a lot of personal transformation over the years, and I have fortunately never had to do so after a few twitlonger posts airing out everything I had done wrong. But this is the world we live in now, and what has happened has happened.
One of the things that stood out about Fed& #39; story is that there was an intervention, and then it was felt by others that the accountability was lacking. He had not & #39;changed& #39;.
I can& #39;t express just how hard it is to shed the skin you& #39;ve lived in your entire life for a new one.
I can& #39;t express just how hard it is to shed the skin you& #39;ve lived in your entire life for a new one.
I want the victims to speak out. We, as a humanity that wants to grow stronger, NEED them to speak out. But we also need to make sure we approach the situation with a calm and mature hand. I think that the victims speaking on that subject - to NOT send hate - is a good start.
I will plainly state one thing that is obvious, but I can& #39;t expect the world to just "make it so": this is not the ideal way to fix this situation. I don& #39;t know what is ideal, but I do know that what happened here isn& #39;t the min/max in terms of good and bad. More iteration needed.
I also need to continually express, as the victims already have, that accountability is the most important part of growth and change. I have only been able to change big parts of myself because I had incredible and honest allies who had faith in me and helped me throughout.
As Fed moves into a new stage of his life, I hope he reaches out, and is reached out to, by people who genuinely want to help him. Because he needs it if he actually wants to change. It& #39;s easy to say "I need to fix myself", it& #39;s not so easy to do so. Because it takes time. A lot.
I& #39;m 33 this year, and some of the big things that I had to fix in my behavior and personality didn& #39;t come until these last THREE years. Fed is 24. I can& #39;t speak to his actual maturity level, but I can to mine. I was a fool, an idiot, a bumbling moron throughout my 20s.
To ACTUALLY change, it took so many specific circumstances, people with infinite patience for my mistakes, and people more adult than me who took the time and effort to help me to grow in the ways they needed me to. It wasn& #39;t easy. It hurts. There& #39;s pride, anger, & entitlement.
Just as recent as a week ago, I broke down sobbing and apologizing because of an incredibly mean and awful thing I had done to hurt someone extremely close to me. I did not ask for forgiveness - because I know that is something we earn from others. It& #39;s shouldn& #39;t be easily given.
