Read on Twitter
men with bangs are just really funny to me
bitch why didn't you RUN WHILE THE DUDES WERE DISTRACTED
eigen and I are negotiating our various responsibilities and priorities should our village ever be razed
he is permitted to fight/die to buy us time to get away
he is permitted to fight/die to buy us time to get away
Conan ain't skipping leg day
nice
nice
long hair on strong men: yes
bangs: no
bangs: no
the legs are compensating and the bone headband thing is hiding the bangs so I'll deal I guess
"he began to realize his sense of worth...he mattered"
tfw fights to the death are better than therapy
tfw fights to the death are better than therapy
aw he's being nice to the lady they threw in his cage
oh
sort of
oh
sort of
some real mishima vibes here tbh
are men okay
I mean I'm digging this movie and women are certainly not okay I'm just asking the other side of the aisle here
why'd they let him go I really don't understand
love when skilled protagonist just fucking faceplants
he needs a terrifying wife
enjoying the very tactile aesthetic
no don't do it this wife is too terrifying
women only act like that towards strange men who stumble into their camp if they know something you don't about how much danger you're in buddy
don't stick your dick in crazy is a thing for a REASON
women only act like that towards strange men who stumble into their camp if they know something you don't about how much danger you're in buddy
don't stick your dick in crazy is a thing for a REASON
oh she turned into a ball of fire that's normal
this movie has remarkable everything for something so silly
aw male friendship
I swear
I will do everything in my power to make sure my future kids have access to healthy homosocial groups
I will do everything in my power to make sure my future kids have access to healthy homosocial groups
hate when I get drunk and punch a camel
aha another terrifying woman
this one looks more sane
proper amount of disdain upon meeting
this one looks more sane
proper amount of disdain upon meeting
I love this woman
conan can wife her
conan can wife her
oh my god why are you stealing the ruby in the center of the room
this man is NOT genre-savvy
this man is NOT genre-savvy
christ that's a big snake
god I miss movies with physical special effects
replacing all of it w/CG was a MISTAKE
god I miss movies with physical special effects
replacing all of it w/CG was a MISTAKE
this thief lady has remarkable physical presence
she's hot but not unrealistically hot
but she just owns the entire space she's in
"Do you want to live forever?!"
I love her
she's hot but not unrealistically hot
but she just owns the entire space she's in
"Do you want to live forever?!"
I love her
aw she has a cute nose bump
I have a nose bump
12yo me needed this movie
I have a nose bump
12yo me needed this movie
tits
the sex scenes in this movie are very well done
not pornographic but extremely erotic
you don't need to be graphic you just need to understand atmosphere and chemistry
not pornographic but extremely erotic
you don't need to be graphic you just need to understand atmosphere and chemistry
girl I would Not wear your stolen wares around your neck
oh fuck is she gonna die no don't
omg she's such a dork
I really thought I would be indulging eigen by watching this I didn't expect it to be so fun
Schwarzenegger is great at communicating with very few words
noooo he left her
:(
:(
@eigenrobot if you run away to seek revenge take me with you gdi
unless we have kids then sorry no revenge for you
unless we have kids then sorry no revenge for you
this wizard understands the importance of looking unhinged as a self defense method
this movie has plenty of racial diversity and isn't heavy handed about it
take note hollywood
take note hollywood
eigen: "this movie is shitting on hippies so hard"
"this is the Thulsa Doom Autonomous Zone"
he's getting felt up by one of the dude hippies now
feels like someone is working out some feelings about run-ins with hippies by making this movie
feels like someone is working out some feelings about run-ins with hippies by making this movie
lol he punched him
"why are you afraid to bare yourself"
conan: *punch*
conan: *punch*
hippie ritual lady: "what do you see"
Conan, desperately bullshitting: "uuuuh infinity"
lady: "good."
yeah the writer has definitely been to a certain kind of party imo
Conan, desperately bullshitting: "uuuuh infinity"
lady: "good."
yeah the writer has definitely been to a certain kind of party imo
this reminds me of the time my ex husband, his buddy who was an army vet, and I all went to a bday party for their college friend and it was almost entirely gay furries
the army buddy was basically Conan here
Thulsa Doom followers: "imma look Badass and wear this snake"
the snakes: *are ball pythons and baby boas*
the snakes: *are ball pythons and baby boas*
hmm very prometheus moment here
eigen: "also jesus and odin*
this movie is such good mythmaking
eigen: "also jesus and odin*
this movie is such good mythmaking
his lady saved him yay
"I will sacrifice whatever to your dumb gods to save my large dumb husband"
"I will sacrifice whatever to your dumb gods to save my large dumb husband"
hate when buddies tattoo ritual magic on my face when i pass out at the party
ah yes i knew he wouldn't die in a narratively unsatisfying way
terrifying thief wife: "you can do a JOB or you can get revenge you can't do both"
conan, silently: "hmmmm"
conan, silently: "hmmmm"
omg the guy playing the wizard also voiced Iroh !!
does Conan have so little dialogue bc Arnold or is that a coincidence?
is thulsa doom really turning into a snake
come on man
come on man
I think snakes' main advantage in combat is their effect on the human psyche and I guess we already established that mindfuckery is his kind of play
the reason conan didn't die when the giant column fell down is that his wife likes his long hair
Eigen: "that was the best way of breaking up an orgy I've ever seen"
he has SNAKES AS ARROWS
he is so extra
he is doomed
he is so extra
he is doomed
fuck the thief wife died and they already used the wizard's favor from the gods
thulsa doom is dead now
thulsa doom is dead now
I would not marry a Conan I prefer a different kind of husband but Conan is a good boy
phone died during the last battle scene
thoughts:
thoughts:
seems there is a pretty sharp divide between ppl who really dig being a member of an audience of a cult leader and ppl who want to behead the cult leader
also lmao at the dejected cultists awkwardly going home at the end
extremely glad he did not bone the princess bc she's a pussy and would not go to valhalla nor save him on the battlefield
I did like their bonding moment at the end like "yeah that dude really fucked with us didn't he"
