Would anyone watch a cooking show which is me speaking slow, condescending Cantonese to white chefs doing Asian 'fusion' food?

At the end I do a 'cheats' version 'inspired' by whatever they're cooking but really just fuck it up.

All these recipes will be in my cookbook within which I'll talk generally about being inspired by my travels to South Yarra rather than crediting the specific chefs I stole from.

'Whaddya call this again? Mashed potatoes? Looks like baby food! You'd have to be brave to eat this every day!'

*look at camera cringing in disgust*

Also going to call the white guy who shows me around to these places the 'local guide' and subtitle him for no particular reason.

If I'm not in a restaurant with a million dollar fitout watch me call everything they do 'humble' and wax lyrical about how they do so much with so little.

Will also talk about their ancient recipes that they've been doing for like...5 years.