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WHY BI/PAN LESBIAN IS HARMFUL TO TRANS PEOPLE (And its effects on trans men) - a thread
Disclosure- I'm questioning bi nb, formerly id'd as lesbian. Partner is a trans man
Disclosure- I'm questioning bi nb, formerly id'd as lesbian. Partner is a trans man
Okay we've talked about how the term bi/pan lesbian was coined by terfs. To terfs, trans women = man. As such, being 'bi/pan lesbian' is really a dogwhistle intended to mean by the creator 'I'm lesbian AND attracted to trans women (who I do not see as 'real women')
However, I want to talk about trans men + lesbians, since a lot of trans men formerly id'd as lesbian before they realise they're trans- and there's transphobia towards trans men that isn't talked about a lot.
Trans men = men
Lesbian = attracted to woman-aligned people only
Trans men = men
Lesbian = attracted to woman-aligned people only
Some may use 'bi/pan lesbian' to say 'I'm lesbian but I also am attracted to trans men.'
Much like the trans women example, this demonstrates you don't see trans men as men. You are invalidating them
Much like the trans women example, this demonstrates you don't see trans men as men. You are invalidating them
'I'm a lesbian, but my partner recently came out as a trans man!'
Congrats! You are now bi/pan/poly/questioning. Please support your partner
'But the lesbian label is important to me!'
Understandable. But if your partner comes out as trans, by continuing to refer as a lesbian-
Congrats! You are now bi/pan/poly/questioning. Please support your partner
'But the lesbian label is important to me!'
Understandable. But if your partner comes out as trans, by continuing to refer as a lesbian-
You are showing them that you don't see them as a man. They will worry that you love them 'in spite' of being a man, that you would prefer them as a woman.
You have to weigh your label against validating your partner's identity. To me, my partner is more important.
You have to weigh your label against validating your partner's identity. To me, my partner is more important.
In identifying as bisexual, I was comfortable to explore my attraction to men, and it fits. That might not be the case for you.
However, using bi/pan lesbian isn't a solution. You're hurting bi, lesbian and trans people in doing so. Cishet men may see lesbians as a 'challenge'
However, using bi/pan lesbian isn't a solution. You're hurting bi, lesbian and trans people in doing so. Cishet men may see lesbians as a 'challenge'
'Sexuality is fluid' can be both a freeing statement but also one to harm lesbians. It's bothersome that wlw identity gets called into question, but there's none of this bullshit on mlms. The fact that afab trans people are left out is why I made this thread.
Adding to this, the prevailing 'men are trash' memes in lgbt and specifically afab lgbt circles makes it harder for trans men to explore attraction to men, especially for those who are gay. The transphobia and sexism exhibited by cis gay men (see: any trans person on grindr)-
Is also harmful, isolating and dysphoria inducing for trans mlm. This culture is also harmful especially if they're in an abusive relationship where an abuser dictates and enforces their idea of the victim's identity.
Trans people deserve to have their identity validated.
Trans people deserve to have their identity validated.
If you're a bi/pan lesbian/mogai label and you're confused and didn't mean to hurt anyone, that's okay. Its okay to not know who you are. The questioning label isn't as scary as it seems I promise.
But please support your trans bretheren
But please support your trans bretheren
To cap it off,
-Trans people's (anyone's really) identities are not for you to bend
-Bi/pan lesbian is harmful to the wlw and trans community
-It's okay to be questioning
-Fuck terfs
-If your partner comes out, give them unending support
Thanks for reading this thread!
-Trans people's (anyone's really) identities are not for you to bend
-Bi/pan lesbian is harmful to the wlw and trans community
-It's okay to be questioning
-Fuck terfs
-If your partner comes out, give them unending support
Thanks for reading this thread!
