Tonight I’m down the Jersey Shore, here to check out the bar scene and whether or not patrons are social distancing.

I tried telling my editor that I was a dork in high school and any observations about “nightlife” would be poorly informed but it was to no avail

I’m mostly trying to verify what I heard from more than a dzn city officials earlier this week, who said bars and restaurants were on good behavior across the state.

That report included Long Branch, Cape May and N. Wildwood https://www.nj.com/coronavirus/2020/06/a-few-crowded-bars-angered-murphy-but-most-nj-restaurants-are-following-the-rules-towns-say.html

My night is starting in Beach Haven on LBI at the Sea Shell Resort & Beach Club. So far, so good. The vibes here are extremely chill and patrons are pretty spread out at the fire pit and at separated tables

The bar patrons, on the other hand, are a different story

There’s some very calm live acoustic guitar playing, creating a super normal-feeling ambiance here in LBI, despite a worldwide pandemic raging

Alright, I’ll admit it — I’m enjoying myself. It’s like entering a different dimension here.

The place isn’t mobbed and people aren’t disregarding social distancing. It’s just an ordinary, mellow summer night down the Shore

Next stop: Jenk’s in Pt. Pleasant.

Anyone have any beach music recs for the hour-ten-minute drive or should I just listen to Summer Nights on repeat 17 times?

Need to issue a correction: As @sanjalidesilva pointed out, in my first tweet I used past tense to refer to myself as a dork as if to imply I am not a dork still.

I apologize for this regretful error

Just arrived at Martell’s Tiki Bar on the Jenkinson’s Aquarium stretch in Point Pleasant. This joint is pretty empty — no one sitting at the bar and tables are far apart

One side of the bar has some patrons but there’s probably not more than 50 people in the place and no one gathered in a group larger than 5

When I came in and the bouncer went to put on my bracelet, I asked if I could put it on myself. He said no and touched my arm while he did it

Someone asked the bouncers why they weren’t wearing masks and one employee joked he was too heavy to wear a mask.

No one coming in was required to wear one

Jenk’s Bar next door has this down to a science — every party gets assigned a table. Bartenders come to you and you’re asked to not leave your table unless you’re going to the bathroom (and then please wear a mask)

The tables are all more than six feet apart. Security say this is a completely new look for Jenk’s and that they’re changing the layout every day

I should note that security are super nice here. I asked this bouncer if I could put my own bracelet on. He said he had to but sanitized his hands first. Another wished me a happy belated bday after checking my ID (amidst a barrage of drunk girls telling him how hot he is)

Jenk’s just turned away some unmasked patrons — considering the spaced out seating and table service, seems like they’re taking regulations fairly seriously

Umm here’s a snap of Donovan’s Reef in Sea Bright — feels like I’m back at The Boot on a Saturday night

It’s pandemonium in here

For the young crowd out at Donovan’s tonight, there’s no such thing as social distancing or coronavirus. It’s just a Saturday night party

I spoke to the mayor of Sea Bright (where Donovan’s is) earlier this week. He said there was a complaint about the crowds here last weekend but that he was unconcerned and would drop in to chat with the owners who he called “great people”

Here’s security tamely trying to move crowds apart

Welp, I made it home, alive in one piece. Thanks to everyone for following along for my foray into the underbelly of NJ nightlife.

Please excuse me while I go scrub my body and squirt hand sanitizer in my eyeballs