Thinking about watching Pacific Rim for the first time (I know, I know!) And drunkenly live tweeting it. Somebody encourage my behavior.

Well, looks like I'm committed for the evening

Don't worry guys; it's not a Samsung

Since a Twitter poll is a binding contract, I'm just gonna do this now before I chicken out or, like, take a nap. I'm drinking Lagunitas Little Sumpin' if that's a relevant detail. Let's go postpone armageddon or whatever it is Idria Elba said in the trailer.

Oh yeah, I need the blu-ray player remote, not the Roku remote, derp

Oh good, there's a trailer. Julianne Moore, Jeff Bridges... Is this a real movie?

I usual skip DVD trailers but what IS THIS? Why is Jeff Bridges talking like that? Okay put in a pin in that, MENU TIME! Robot with a chainsaw arm, good good... Ooh, should I watch the movie in Português? 7.1? Who has that many speakers?

Switching on English subtitles because I get distracted... Phantom has decided to watch the movie on my lap... But he's facing the wrong way... okay, let's DO THIS

Piracy is NOT a victimless crime, guys

Dramatic music over the WB logo

You don't have to hold my hand, movie. I know this shit.

This is an non-American doing an American accent, isn't it?

[indistinct radio chatter]

I used to dance under the stage name Kaiju Blue

Who is narrating this?!

Isn't "kaiju" already plural?

Let's get this out of the way: that's not how you spell gypsy.

This is like if Avatar was fast-paced

Oh, it's That Guy. His accent isn't so bad I guess

Oh good, Idris is here, that jeebers

Why not let HIM to do the American accent?

That is ONE BIGASS mechbot

Stacker. Pentecost.

Charlie Hunnam's brother is about to get killed, right? And he has to bond with some new partner?

I was curious whether that pronounced it Jaeger or Yeager, and now I know

Funny how all kaiju make that same honking sound as Godzilla

What if Guiron, but less silly? I'm on board.

Does spelling gypsy gipsy make it not a racial slur?

Damn, it's a super duper huge mechabot

Feel free to mute me for a couple hours, I don't blame you

Why does he have scratches on his shoulder? Was there a big cat in the mechabot with him?

Yeah, I'm going with mechabot. Jaeger is dumb.

DRAMATIC TITLE SCREEN

Idris Elba is doing an accent, too? Sure why not

Okay, I admit I'm not paying 100% attention but I think Stacker Pentecost just dramatically popped an Altoid

Kaiju sure love the Sydney Opera House

Look, movie people: Either hire American actors or let your character be from wherever the actor is from. One or the other. Or get Cary Elwes.

SHATTERDOME?

Shatterdome

Oh, I get it. EVERYBODY is doing a bad accent.

Exposition dump time. LOVE IT

Wait wait wait. His name is Hercules Hansen?

If anything happens to that bulldog I swear to god

The kaiju are from another universe and the doorway is "atomic in nature." This is my kind of technobabble bullshit, more please.

PEE BREAK

Oh, and OF COURSE the Japanese lady has purple highlights in her hair.

It does look cool, fair is fair.

I would totally dye my hair my purple if I thought I'd look half as cool

Oh, it's the guy from Torchwood! That was gonna drive me nuts if I didn't google it. Burn is a cool name.

ANYWAY, I hit stop instead of pause and lost my place. Let's watch the exposition dump again.

STOP SAYING SHATTERDOME

British people can say lad. If I say lad I have to talking about the Legion of Superheroes

Perseverating on this accidental poetry. Also wondering why a blockbuster movie was shot in 16:9

Can this whole movie be about the two nerds arguing?

oh Oh OH the Japanese lady is fake American dude's new partner, right?

But the book lady and seat of his pants dude team up? HOW NOVEL

Seriously worried about the dog

People aren't named Raleigh.

Or Stacker Petecost. NEVER MIND

Okay, he's definitely teaming up with the Japanese lady.

And maybe smooches.

But platonic smooches. I have a lot of respect for Guillermo.