About to turn 30 soon and I've had time to actually reflect on my journey up until this point in my life. Particularly the important lessons I've learned as a woman.

So: 20 THINGS I WISH 20 YEAR OLD ME KNEW.

A thread:

1. The truth shall set you free. Always strive to be an honest person. Lying takes a lot of effort and time and the truth always comes out. It's one of the inevitable things in life. Save yourself unnecessary consequences & just tell the truth. ESPECIALLY TO YOURSELF!

2. (4 sexual abuse victims) Seek therapy as soon as you can. Your mind & body go through dissociation which can lead to depression, comfort eating & anxiety attacks, etc. Seek help pls. Also, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT & IT GETS BETTER! You deserve to be happy. Get help, breathe, LIVE!

3. Don't force things. Relationships, friendships, family relations or ponytails, JUST DON'T FORCE IT! Give the people in your life room to breathe. Just be the best version of yourself & whoever wants to stay, will. If they leave, it's also okay. Just don't lose yourself!

4. Love is not abusive, it should not make you doubt yourself or neglect yourself. It's not supposed to physically & emotionally inundate you with pain & it sure as hell shouldn't have you looking like a fool. Define it for yourself & if what you get ain't it, LEAVE IT ALONE!

5. Feed your mind. Read as much as you can. If you encounter something you don't know or understand then do research and educate yourself. Always make time to learn & unlearn, about yourself and the world you live in. Meditate as well. Your mind needs to be nourished as well!

6. Therapy is your friend. Emotional wellbeing is super important. How to deal with break ups, rejection, developing maturity, dealing with past traumas, learning how to grieve & dealing with insecurities is as important as knowing how to file tax returns. Don't be ashamed of it

7. Discipline is key. Whether it's with your finances, relationships, goals or lifestyle, it's important to learn how to be disciplined, with & for yourself. It's really mostly about you making promises to yourself and learning how to keep them. Makes life much easier actually!

8. Failure isn't a death sentence. Accept that you are probably going to fail at a lot of things in life. That doesn't mean it's the end tho. Give yourself a second to feel bad & then get back up & try again. Don't despair 4 when you r rock bottom, the only way left to go us up.

9. Find ways to make money from doing the things that you love. Do not only rely on a salary alone as a source of income. Job security isn't a promise from white Jesus. Get out of your comfort zone & become creative. There's always a way. Our ancestors died for it. WORK!!!

10. Learn how to say no. Do not make it a habit to suffer in silence. If people want to take advantage of you or if the expectations are absurd, abusive or just uncomfortable, SAY NO, UNASHAMEDLY! If you don't, TOBOTSWA NENA TJIKOROKOTO! Say no & be unapologetic about it.

11. Don't limit yoself 2 what it is u think is ur portion. There's a whole world out there with endless possibilities. Try to take a few risks along the line. You never know what it is you can discover about yourself that could propel you to greatness. U r more than what u know!1

12. Patience is a virtue. Give yourself time to learn, unlearn, grow, grieve and breathe. Give yourself the time to just be. Try not to get lost in it though. Also, be patient with others, we all learn at a different pace. Rushed recipes always flop. Take your time, reasonably!

13. This is not a drill. There isn't a mythical creature between the clouds waiting to blow the whistle at your 60th screaming "Okay, let's try that again!" You don't get a do over. This is it. Don't waste it on self doubt. Only thing certain is death, so live while you still can

14. Be kind to yourself. Life is full of ups & downs and some things are out of your control. Beating yourself up about them hardly changes anything. If you really tried your best then it is what it is. Speak love, laughter & life into yourself. Celebrate & pray for yourself.

15. Accountability is key. Hold other people accountable for their actions and you need to learn to be accountable to others and yourself as well. It won't always be other people. Sometimes you are the problem. Work on yourself the way you expect others to work on themselves.

16. Don't rush into romantic relationships. This is a person with their own religious, cultural, political beliefs. A person with their own demons, traumas, flow of energy. Take the time to get to know them before committing to a relationship with them. It'll save you a lot (1/2)

(2/2) of time & energy and heartbreak. Human beings are not a yoyo or basketball. Don't make them your play things please, some ancestors are unforgiving. Also, if you are using sex as a metric to judge a potential partner than get ready for the biggest botch of your life!

17. Accept the things about yourself that you are unable to change and change those that you can. If you feel overweight then exercise. If you don't like your style then change it. If you want something, go for it. You aren't a tree chief, MOVE OR DON'T COMPLAIN!

18. Establish your value as a human being outside of the things that you own. Material things can improve the quality of life but they shouldn't determine your entire life experience or the value of it. Also, your Range Rover won't fit in your grave. Just be a decent human being!

19. Read up on investment and try to invest and save as much as you are able to. This will allow you to have access to money to attain most of your goals which may include traveling or financing your passions even, not to forget the need to establish generational wealth.

20. Through all of the highs & lows, never forget one important thing: YOU ARE ALL THAT YOU REALLY HAVE. LOVE YOURSELF UNCONDITIONALLY AND BREATHE THROUGH IT ALL. And if at any point the world chooses to not recognize your worth or beauty, fuck em! This isn't about them anyway.

I'll end here for now.

Please do not hesitate to share important lessons you may have learned along the way. You never know who we could leave inspired.

Also, this is based on my life, might not necessarily be applicable to you.

Love & Light to you all

One last thing: pray for discernment so that you don't unnecessarily buy into fictitious hype. Not all that glitters is gold & so it's important to be wary of what we allow ourselves to be impressed by. People aren't really posting their failures. Watch what you're envious of!