Guise, can we stop this thing of “has made women believe” when it’s actually a structure that rewards and discriminates based on participation. Women are punished structurally for not getting married, whether straight or queer so participation is often about survival. https://twitter.com/noemmeg/status/1276930111858671619

This is why the conversations about marriage often deteriorate to about individual women divesting instead of dismantling the whole structure. Whether you believe or participate in marriage or not, the system will still affect you directly or indirectly.

And before anyone comes to argue with me, I’m a 39 yr old unmarried Swahili Muslim woman. This is not theory to me, it’s first hand experience. It won’t matter if all women refuse to get married, as long as patriarchy exists, the system will punish them for it.

And I’m pointing out “Swahili, Muslim” because these are two communities where a woman’s entire value is connected to being married. You cannot be anything else is you’re not married. Being dehumanized is the order of my day.

So women being convinced their worth is tied to their marriageability is not the root cause, it’s just the how they chose the why of marriage, which is is to sustain a society where men always have power over women starting from their homes.

And I’m not saying that women shouldn’t divest from marriage and the privileges it comes with. But that’ll be as effective as refusing to frequent a racist restaurant. It’s good for you for sure, but as long as the restaurant stays open, it will continue being racist.