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I keep getting questions like, "well, what type of apology is acceptable?"
And I keep emphasizing, ones that center the victim and surrender power to the victim.
But, I'm starting to feel like I'm being asked, "no. What can they say to not be in trouble anymore?"
Nothing! https://twitter.com/mm_schill/status/1276391151432597504
And I keep emphasizing, ones that center the victim and surrender power to the victim.
But, I'm starting to feel like I'm being asked, "no. What can they say to not be in trouble anymore?"
Nothing! https://twitter.com/mm_schill/status/1276391151432597504
They are, in fact, in trouble.
They done stepped in it.
The transference of pain from victim to abuser is happening.
Let it happen. This is just how messy redemption is.
There is no instant absolution.
They're in the suck.
They done stepped in it.
The transference of pain from victim to abuser is happening.
Let it happen. This is just how messy redemption is.
There is no instant absolution.
They're in the suck.
A big aspect of Codependency is people who are abuse-adjacent scrambling to shield/insulate the abuser from the hurt and consequences their abuse might cause themselves.
Stop it.
If you care about the abuser, don't try to control the situation by making excuses or shielding.
Stop it.
If you care about the abuser, don't try to control the situation by making excuses or shielding.
The abuser needs to feel this right now.
They need to feel the transference of shame, pain, and isolation from their victims to themselves.
Let them feel. These are growing pangs.
They need to come collect their baggage.
This is the messy path of true contrition.
They need to feel the transference of shame, pain, and isolation from their victims to themselves.
Let them feel. These are growing pangs.
They need to come collect their baggage.
This is the messy path of true contrition.
FYI: these people shielding the abuser, are victims themselves. At least adjacent.
Abusers attract and/or train them to run interference for them. We see the sycophants on abusers' threads!
That does not absolve them from the harm they are causing by shielding abusive people.
Abusers attract and/or train them to run interference for them. We see the sycophants on abusers' threads!
That does not absolve them from the harm they are causing by shielding abusive people.
It is possible to be both harmful and a victim too.
I urge these sycophants to turn coat. You're being gaslit and manipulated too. It is your reputation they will use to wipe off their filth.
Turn coat! And go get your pound of flesh too. They need to make you whole, as well.
I urge these sycophants to turn coat. You're being gaslit and manipulated too. It is your reputation they will use to wipe off their filth.
Turn coat! And go get your pound of flesh too. They need to make you whole, as well.
Then, make amends yourself for your part in delaying justice to your fellow abuse victims.
Make no mistake, when I read replies to these dude's apology letters ALL I see are abuse victims. People they've fooled and manipulated, and let down.
Make no mistake, when I read replies to these dude's apology letters ALL I see are abuse victims. People they've fooled and manipulated, and let down.
"But, the abuser feels bad, and in a bad place now, and I'm an empathetic person so it's killing me!"
Dear heart, they are weaponizing your empathy against you, and against their other victims.
It is purposeful, abusive.
Take my hand--we're gonna go get you your pound of flesh.
Dear heart, they are weaponizing your empathy against you, and against their other victims.
It is purposeful, abusive.
Take my hand--we're gonna go get you your pound of flesh.
