Making this thread upon the request of a friend.

It's unfortunate how much Muslim men are belittled for their carnal desires. When they struggle with them, they are told merely to fast and while this is a Prophetic medicine for sure.

It's not supposed to be a long term solution. It's the second best thing one could do to protect themselves before they spiral. The first is a healthy marriage.

Some people think fasting twice a week is sufficient. In their attempts to be chaste, many men realize that suppressing their carnal desires requires more commitment than twice a week, lest they slip again.

And because the shame associated with carnal desires, and the secular leanings of many Muslim families, many Muslim boys striving to be chaste have to fast without their parents knowing lest they be ostracized for their struggles or called extreme for "being too religious".

(It goes without saying p*rnography addiction requires extreme attention and can really ruin a relationship. A relationship is not a cure to this disease and people should not go into their marriages expecting a cure for this.)

Even the idea of lowering the gaze - another casual expectation, undermining the gravity of the command - one that becomes a difficult mission for the average guy. Even a simple gaze can send a man into a mental spiral which requires intense mental resistance.

It's no wonder why the Prophet ﷺ described the unlawful gaze as a "poisoned arrow from Satan."

With the way society has been hypersexualized, shaytaan's been throwing poisoned bullets left and right.

It's absolutely crucial for men who want to stay chaste that they minimize and reduce the amount of media consumption. This means giving up movies, and TV shows, or aimlessly browsing through their social media feeds.

Even if a guy listens to a music, they absolutely must not listen to female singers, especially pop singers. The voice can have its own allure, the music industry knows this so, so of course they are going to try exploiting it.

And they must refrain from music that contains lyrical garbage - topics related to dysfunctional relationships, broken hearts, carnal desires, etc.

But not listening to music at all is obviously ideal. One step at a time.

Remember that the eyes and ears are important gateways to the heart. Protect the gateways, and your heart too will be protected.

All of the above certainly applies to Muslim women, but I didn't address them because the carnal desires of Muslim men are often belittled by two categories: 1) naive parents who wrongfully delay facilitation of marriage for their kids and 2) many young Muslim women

It's an unfortunate reality, that a significant portion of women also struggle with their desires and addiction to p*rnography too.

May Allah protect all of us, facilitate for us ease in remaining modest and chaste and in finding compatible, pious spouses.

One important key, immersion in the remembrance of Allah is key. At every moment. Once one remembers Allah from a moment, any action that takes them out of that remembrance feels deplorable.

"Remember Me; I will remember you. And thank Me, and never be ungrateful."

"O believers! Seek comfort in patience and prayer. Allah is truly with those who are patient."

(Surah Baqarah, 152-153)

Patience is through the remembrance of Allah. Know the Majesty of the One whom you serve and struggle for, and it all becomes worth it.

Be devoted to His remembrance, and His Remembrance of you will inspire patience.