I am a homosexual male. I am taking hormones to change my body, and eventually having at least one surgery.

Some people say that doing this actually makes me heterosexual, that I'm "really becoming a woman", or even that I "was a woman all along".

That's just not true.

Just because I can potentially change my appearance enough to potentially be attractive to someone who is heterosexual, does not change that "I" am a homosexual male.

It has been argued for a long time that sexuality is innate and unchangeable.

This is correct. I am homosexual, I will end my life... still homosexual.

Just because I may be able to enter into a "straight passing" relationship, and be in a relationship with a straight man, doesn't change my own internal sexuality.

People have argued that by me accepting my homosexuality, it is harmful to the "trans community" as it means supporting that for a man to be in a relationship with a transwoman is a gay relationship.

This then means such a relationship has to deal with homophobia.

I take a more nuanced approach. It can totally be gay for me, and straight for my partner.

We create a weird grey zone where conventional labels just sort of break down, between dictionary level literalism, and social reality perceptions.

I don't need to pretend I am not what I literally am, but I'm also not going to say that someone who's into me is suddenly ready to go have sex with male presenting men.

And the reality is, no matter how you change the terminology, a homophobe is going to be homophobic.

Defining is as somehow being "perfectly straight" isn't going to make a homophobe suddenly ok with it.

We would just be twisting terms, trying to define ourselves out of inescapable prejudices, and yet not accomplishing anything more than rendering terms meaningless.

Even more so, if I were to cease defining myself as homosexual, and accept that I had somehow "converted to straight"...

Then that would mean my father was right all along.

I took over a decade of beatings to "make a man of me".

Am I now supposed to accept that what my father did could have worked if he'd only found the right way to convert me from being gay???

I won't accept that sexuality can be changed, that is FAR more dangerous of a slippery slope, telling homophobes they merely need to "convert the gays" a bit differently?

Is that really the message we should send?

I am a homosexual male. I alter my body for my own comfort and ability to live my life without distress.

There is nothing wrong with transition as a treatment, unless applied as conversion therapy for homosexuality.

The problem all along, has been homophobia.

So I choose to define myself accurately, and the homophobes can just learn to deal with the fact that sexuality cannot be changed.

I'm here, I'm homosexual, and that's just how it is.

I wont pretend otherwise for the comfort of other people.

-fin