I was in a writers’ room two years ago. The white showrunner, in front of the all white staff, walked over to me, placed his hand on my shoulder and told the room that the studio will be pleased with the show’s diversity because he has his “resident Negro” right here. (1/8)

I looked up at him in shock then looked at the other writers in the room. They could not meet my eyes. Through clenched jaw, I worked to the end of the day saying nothing. Rivet hot anger. That night, I brought this incident up to a colegue (not in the room at the time) (2/8)

When I told her about the incident, she informed me that the SAME showrunner was jokingly affecting a redneck charicature and saying “nigger” in the room when I was out on a break the week previous. This was all brand new to me. (3/8)

Not knowing what to do, I reached out to a producer friend for advice. He asked if I wanted it as a producer (who had stake in the show) or as a friend. I chose friend. He said if I run this up the flagpole to the studio, they would just shut the whole show down. Full stop. (4/8)

In short, if I call out this racist showrunner, I would lose everyone’s jobs. My choice was to keep working for this abuser or have the blood on my hands. This was a BIG studio and they would want to bury this incident fast. I kept my mouth shut. Two days later... (5/8)

I got an email from the showrunner. It was not an apology. It was an explanation of why it was okay for him to let the n-word slip from his lips in a professional setting because he was evoking a voice with which he does not align. The funny part is that... (6/8)

He didn’t even acknowledge calling me “[his] resident Negro”. At all. My white showrunner touched me, called me a Negro, used the n-word, my white co-workers didn’t back me up, a white producer told me to keep it under wraps for sake of the show and I FUCKING DID!! (7/8)

I think about this and feel shame and regret every waking day.

This would have NEVER happened if there was just ONE other person of color in that room.

This was not the 60’s. This was two years ago.

Hire. BIPOC. Staff. (8/8)