Car has broken down again. Windows stuck open, so it is now slowly filling with water. Have made rudimentary water proofing out of plastic bags. Mechanic will surely judge me. Wish I wasn't dressed like this.

Wee guy actually stopped and helped, despite rain. Lovely guy, and car enthusiast. Looked about 16 but had huge motoring knowledge. I drove at a crawl to safer place to stop, so middle aged woman chose to drive a foot behind me, hand on horn the entire time. Humanity is baffling.

Direct line breakdown were great, it has to be said. Woman called Linda sending help. We both like standup comedy. She likes Edinburgh but hasn't been in ages, how silly is that? We both agreed it was silly and she should come back. Hopefully she will.

Just realised the bags are the ones I use for glass recycling. Car still filling with water, but now accompanied by smell of stale beer.

Local teenagers have now taken an interest. One races cars in his spare time. He said it was a real shame I had broken down. I agreed.

Surprising number of men have stopped to guess wildly at what the problem may be. Not a great game because, not only is there no prize for getting it right, but I have absolutely no idea what the answer is.

GARETH THE MECHANIC IS ON HIS WAY!! MAY THE WIND BE AT YOUR BACK GARETH!!

The speedometer has started doing a little twitch in time with the hazard light tick. A new development. In fairness it's an infectious rythym. I expect Gareth will know what is happening.