“DAYS OF THUNDER,” 30th anniversary.

Where are they now? A thread...

COLE TRICKLE: After losing sponsorship due to his effusive post-race thanking of “My crew chief, my pit crew, my scientology auditor who freed me of the vile thetans scattered upon earth by Space Lord Xenu, and of course Mello Yello,” quits #NASCAR, turns to life of vampirism.

RUSS WHEELER: Enjoyed several more successful years in the Cup series, always responding to his crew chief’s instructions with “As you wish.” Retired to pursue other opportunities in sailing, besting giants, fighting rodents of unusual size to the death, marrying Buttercup.

HARRY HOGGE: Lost his mind, fell in love with a tire he claimed was his perfect match. Sadly, turned to a life of crime, spearheading one of California’s biggest car theft rings. Whereabouts currently unknown.

DR. CLAIRE LEWICKI: Currently Professor Emeritus at the California Institute Of Aeronautics where she teaches students the concepts of aerodynamic lift and drag using sugar packets on her bare thigh. Married to country musician Luke Bryan (I think).

TIM DALAND: Ran into issues with the IRS, and fled the North Carolina area in a recreational vehicle with questionable plumbing capabilities. Bravely sacrified self during intergalactic skirmish, for which NASCAR annually runs the Alright You Alien Assholes 400 in his honor.