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the reason why "feel special" is literally my favorite song of all time.
- a thread
p.s. let me be emotional for a while
- a thread
p.s. let me be emotional for a while
i became a fan in the middle of yes or yes promotions. that time, i was a graduating student and a president for grade school so everything was hectic. many requirements, i quickly get tired. school doesn't make me happy anymore. the pressure i get from my parents.
i grew tired of everything, and those times, i was accused of doing something that i was capable of doing but I NEVER EVER did anything. i felt like no one's by my side anymore, like my world that i created for myself is slowly crumbling. i was too tired.
since i was a grade school president, many people looked up to me, i took care of younger students, they told me that it's okay but i felt like it was my responsibility to protect them at all costs. i was burdened to be someone who every younger students looked up to.
then, twice came into my life. trust me, i owe it to them. it was like, my life became colorful again. like, they actually cared even if they aren't here in front of me. it felt like the feeling i get from my younger schoolmates who i took care of, i never felt this grateful ever
i tried to participate again, but school works, responsibilities piled up. but i never wanted this, heck, i never even wanted to be a president. then, still there was pressure, it was like i never do anything to make them proud.
then, i graduated. i was one of the honors, yes i was proud and my mom is too so i was very happy! but my dad couldn't come cause he was working, sad but i got used to it.
i am now in the 7th grade. i transferred to another school, hoping that it has a cool environment and atmosphere. yet, i was wrong. this batch is clearly chaotic, it was the people who make issues, that i definitely hate. i was involved in something, AGAIN.
this guy, had a girlfriend, yes in 7TH GRADE and had a crush on me. at first, he messaged me, with a hello or something, i forgot. i didn't know that he had a girlfriend at the time, so i replied with a hello back. i was never one to hear gossips anyway.
and then my classmate, who is also, my friend told me that someone is mad at me, the student wasn't my classmate. i was confused because i only talked to people who is only my classmates, i asked them what did i do for them to be mad at me. they told me that i stole her boyfriend
and i was like, confused. and then, blamed me for something i didn't even do. then, it came to me again. my hands were shaking, i went to the bathroom and tried to calm myself, but i cried. i didn't even know what to do, i didn't have any friends to start of with.
those months were horrifying, but it changed one day. they were two girls who approached me, i was a shy-type but i changed whenever someone knows me. i was thankful for them, i trusted them yet i can't tell the truth. how bad of a friend am i, right?
thankfully, they didn't force me. then three became five and then became six, i was happy. everyone's happy. but good things always come to an end, right? before christmas, i had a friend before them, she was the only one whom i trusted.
then there was a notification saying that twice will have a comeback called "feel special" i was so happy that i jumped when i arrived home. i was really happy knowing that they're gonna save me from all of these.
and it the mv was released, i watched it with my other classmates cause we had a late schedule. while i was watching, i sobbed. it just reminded me that like us, there were also days that they feel down, that they were left out, but then there will always be that someone
who will make u smile, and someone who will tell you that we deserve it better than all of these. i couldn't stop crying that time, i was really burdened. i cried and cried until there was no tears anymore. who knew that ONE song could change your life forever.
we grew distant as she went on to be friends with my classmates, and then she came and six became seven. and there was that feeling again, me and my two friends felt like we didn't belong anymore, like they started to talk about things that clearly, we don't know anything about.
then, grew distant. we fought, and never spoke to each other since that. we became like that for 2 weeks, i was scared again. I only trusted these two friends that I only have now. I grew scared, I felt negativity weighing down again.
- end of thread.
those six of us became seven. unfortunately, grew distant and now we're on a new group of friends. bittersweet ending but.. i was tired, i had hurt myself two times. but there was always my friends who would always make me happy and that we made a deal if i had hurt myself-
i would have to treat them so, i didn't do anything since now! im very happy and satisfied with what i have now, thank u for them.
thank u for listening to my emotional state.
- end of thread.
thank u for listening to my emotional state.
- end of thread.
