Thread by @BennDown, I feel that after decades of making music I can now make [...]

I feel that after decades of making music I can now make a significant change in the way I perceive myself. (a short thread)

I started writing music in bands when I was thirteen. It was about eight years after I’d started learning the piano. I instantly loved the idea of being..

..in a band and would always gravitate to the recording side of the process. I would read and absorb everything I could about the process. The concept of recording something so that a song may not be lost to (immediate) time was fascinating to me.

Between the ages of thirteen..

..and eighteen I was in more bands than I can remember. Each one of them taught me invaluable lessons about who the right people to make music with are.

My one take away was that I always strived to be the least talented person in the room. In this way I would be constantly..

..urging myself to learn more and master my craft more (regardless of instrument) I was lucky enough to tour and play more shows than I thought possible at the time. I don’t miss playing live at all and feel extremely lucky that I’m able to do what I do without having that..

..constant burden that so many bands have. This isn’t to say that I will never play live; I will. I expect to take Z on the road next year and also start preparing the next quiet one album by demoing songs live under various pseudonyms.

The difference is that I don’t feel..

..at all obligated to tour and so I hope the experience to be truly interesting. So many bands are so dead to touring as it’s one of only a few revenue streams. After many conversations on the matter I do feel sorry for people in that position. There always seems such an..

..obvious fix to that issue that even some minor label manoeuvres can assist with.

After the age of eighteen and with some minor releases and credits behind me I decided to study my craft more and ended up studying two concurrent degrees in sound design and music production..

..these were unfortunately of limited value to me as I always felt a little ahead of what they were trying to teach. I met some great people during this time and started a few long term projects and bands. I also started ghosting at the time which opened my eyes to something..

..really horrendous. I went to warner in Fulham where they had pairs of people quite literally shut in tiny rooms with pianos and rudimentary recording equipment for eight hours a day hoping to come up with amazing melodies that could be used to assist pop releases..

..this was just so disheartening to me. To see that factory side of the process. I’d always hoped it didn’t exist but after witnessing it first hand it was hard to see how the machine could be beaten.

They were taking children straight out of music schools and university to..

..try and squeeze the most out of them in what they deems their most creative years.

I started to believe that I could never come close to what these people were trying to achieve. The sheer man-power alone was disheartening. I always loved the concept of songwriting but this..

..seemed to just suck all the life out of the process.

I spent the next few years vearing away from this. Instead I started ghosting more and more and that led to some really unique opertunities. I just wanted to learn everything I could about how people make records..

..I spent a inordinate amount of time researching mechanical processes; from jukeboxes to tape machines. It all interested me greatly. I even had an original wax cylinder engine and a few wax cylinders with eerily haunting voices trapped inside.

The idea of commuting a song..

..to tape was now changing for me. I realised that in its earliest form recording were only used to record the most important information. This became my stand-point which I have tried to uphold since.

I want everything I record to be of important to someone, somewhere..

..I think it may be the reason that I take everything so seriously in any studio I’m in. I feel like If i’m in a studio it’s to accomplish something of importance to someone.

I sometimes attack the process like an engineer, a mathematician, a scientist and a creative. All are..

..absolutely relevant in the process.

Since I started Hurt Records it’s been a sharp upward trajectory for me which at times has been quite daunting. I’ve found myself working with bands I loved when I was coming up (for better and for worse) and have had a number of..

..ghosts and releases that have landed on the top ten on various charts around the world.

Now why am I writing this extended thread? I think that I’ve always had a block when it comes to my confidence in some areas. It’s like a wall that I can’t quite destroy. When I think..

..back to the times when roles were important and valued more I think of specific things that don’t exist anymore. The idea of an engineer isn’t that relivant musically anymore as it’s all but been obliterated since music is so much easier to create on a budget..

..but the role of producer is always one I’ve struggled with. For me it felt like something unreachable in a single human lifetime; probably because the people I admired the most took the roles seriously and never stopped producing incredible songs..

..the issue now is that anyone can be a producer; most kids with laptops call themselves producers (and to a certain extent that may be true) but to me a producer is something really specific.

I’ve studied this process for a few decades now. I’ve even played dumb around people..

..so that they have no fear of explaining certain aspects of what they do for me. I’ve hired people whose work I enjoy; just to see their processes. I’ve worked with everyone that I thought I’d never be able to even meet. I’m always trying to learn and absorb as much as I can..

..as it’s the only way that I can tell myself that I’m trying to move forward with what I am. It doesn’t always work out well and there have been casualties along the way which is expected with work that is deemed important..

So after all of this I’m only just about able to consider calling myself a producer.

I don’t know why this was such an important thing for me to share. I’ve been stewing on it for a number of years. But this year is the first year that I will start to publish my true..

..and full discography as well as some ghost which have passed contract. I’m not going to be available to produce anything for anyone or anything like that. You can’t hire me etc. It’s just been a mental-block that I’ve never been able to move beyond..

..so that’s the end of this thread. I’m a music producer.

The next few releases from Hurt are unreal by the way. We are all really excited to share them with you. Thanks for your unending support as always. It’s truly humbling.

Benn

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