Look, dude was a privileged asshat but I am starting to get really peeved at being told that society is set up for parents.

It isn’t. Not unless you have a lot of money.

Daycare. Daycare costs a fucking fortune, which is good bc nurturers and teachers deserve to make a living, but it really impacts family finances. And lack of it, or lack of an affordable option can cut one parent’s career off at the knees.

Transit and accessibility. Nobody thinks of little kids as needing accessibility aids but they do. And if you are a parent with a kid and a chronic condition or disability, it’s doubly needed.

But most transit/public access is SHITE. >

> Public bathrooms sometimes have changing tables...but it’s a crapshoot. And again, guess which parent bears the brunt of this if the restaurant decided a changing table only goes in one restroom.

>

Breastfeeding. Only recently have we become conscious as a society feeding is something one does with ones family and not in the bathroom, but that recognition is still pretty piecemeal.

You can still find restaurants that kick you out for trying to feed your kid.

> Everyone expects you to have a car if you have a kid. Lyfts and taxis don’t provide car seats. In fact, a shit tonne of “disrupting” tech services are designed for young males with no families.

What people are mistaking is the pedestal as exploitation. See my other thread abt how capitalism stigmatises childfree folks and exploits families with children. Pitting is against each other.

The working mom isn’t your enemy. The 40 hr work week and workaholic culture is.

The childfree person who chooses other paths isn’t being a selfish jerk—I outlined a bunch of really good reasons why people don’t have kids...and they’re all valid.

But it’s really useful for certain folks to gin up “what about the children,” as they try to control media or fund police.

It’s really useful for them to have the excuse of not promoting/paying fair wages to women bc they are “distracted by maternal responsibilities.”

Presenting white cishet nuclear families as the impossible marketing metric is useful to exploitative capitalists.

Keeping you mad at your coworkers is useful capitalists. >

And keeping both sides mad at each other instead of the exploitation and lack of support for individual choices is useful.

Anyways, I have been both the Childless Cool Aunt chastised by religious fam god not doing my duty and I’ve been the Aged Breeder Lady.

I want to affirm the choices and feelings of my friends who don’t want or can’t have kids for various reasons. They aren’t privileged bc they don’t have kids. They often deal with stigma.

And it’s heartbreaking dealing with fertility issues. Still mad at dude for piling on that without thinking.

But please know that “society is built for parents” is only true for white and wealthy and able-bodied parents.

It’s not true for many. And trying to navigate the pedestal and the way people will invoke you and use you without seeing if you agree is no easy task.

Here’s the previous thread: https://twitter.com/pixelfish/status/1276636761892876288?s=21 https://twitter.com/Pixelfish/status/1276636761892876288

And here’s another summation: https://twitter.com/b1uecruz/status/1276889840173236225?s=21 https://twitter.com/b1uecruz/status/1276889840173236225