okay it's a tie. obvi, Get Out

and

The Karate Kid, 2010. Jaden Smith version. let me explain. https://twitter.com/howatdk/status/1276541656079073290

it's 2010. i'm a teacher. at the end of the year my principal decides we're gonna take the kids to see Karate Kid as a treat. CERTIFIED LITUATION.

only thing is, we didn't tell the theater in advance? so 200ish kids and their teachers showed up. for like... an 11 AM screening.

now, 11 AM on a weekday is not when a theater has the most staff, nor are the staff who are present... well... they're not the RISING STARS of the movie theater staff. this is the JV squad.

kids who had money got to line up and get concessions.

this took. forever.

8th graders walk up like, "let me get a small popcorn and a pop." they pay. they're out.

4th graders be like

"uhhhhhhhhh

c'I get

um

wait

uhhhhh

a blue"

me: a blue what, baby?

"no! ummmmmm a green.... wait. how much money is this" (shows me several random crumpled bills)

I took on a new job, standing at the front of the line, trying to practicing with the little kids what they were gonna order so the process would be expedited, and covering kids whose mouths were bigger than their pocket money. kids with sour patch dreams but penny candy budgets

despite my best efforts this took forever. they would have their whole spiel down with me and then when the person at the counter asked them what they wanted, it would suddenly be a filibuster. eventually the movie actually started. AND NEVERTHELESS WE PERSISTED

eventually it was the last child's turn. Miles. the thing is, Miles was a very detail-oriented kid. he was very prepared. it was cosmic injustice that he was last in line. he was clearly getting antsy but he was remaining calm. I was like... respect, Miles. respect.

I waited out of solidarity* with Miles while all the other kids went in to watch the movie.

*also, legal and professional obligation

eventually me and Miles strolled in and found seats. because, again, it was a morning on a weekday (and I think this movie had been out for a bit?) there was literally no one there except me, my colleagues, and 200 kids.

WHEN I TELL YOU IT WAS BUSSIN?!!?!?!?!

when Jaden Smith had his big climactic fight??! IT WAS LIKE WE WERE THERE. and when he won?!?!? WE WENT ABSOLUTELY BANANAGRAMS

that's the most fun I ever had watching a movie. it was also black af.

that, and Get Out. after which, a random Black man I never met held the door open for me and said loudly, "AFTER YOU MY QUEEN" just out of sheer spontaneous love for Black womanhood

to conclude, NEVER SAY NEVER