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Hey there. It's been awhile. I didn't think I'd be here again, honestly.
While I tell you where I've been and what's changed, feel free to go "AH CRAP I DIDN'T THINK SHE'D BE BACK" and unfollow me or whatever. Do your thing. I won't mind.
While I tell you where I've been and what's changed, feel free to go "AH CRAP I DIDN'T THINK SHE'D BE BACK" and unfollow me or whatever. Do your thing. I won't mind.
Where I've been involves a trigger warning for suicidal ideation.
I had a breakdown right after I left twitter. I almost killed myself. I drove myself to the hospital instead. It was 100% the worst time in my entire adult life. I've spent every day since getting better.
I had a breakdown right after I left twitter. I almost killed myself. I drove myself to the hospital instead. It was 100% the worst time in my entire adult life. I've spent every day since getting better.
I never thought I could get so low. But I did. I won't again. I won't for me & I won't for my wife & I won't for my kids. I've been in intensive therapy, have a diagnosis of trauma, and it's early days, but I've had some big breakthroughs. It's been a buildup from a breakdown.
So, here are a few things that are changing:
I will focus on having positive interactions on this platform. Having been the focus of negativity to the point where it nearly killed me, I won't do that to someone else. It's not in line with my values and it causes too much pain.
I will focus on having positive interactions on this platform. Having been the focus of negativity to the point where it nearly killed me, I won't do that to someone else. It's not in line with my values and it causes too much pain.
I will not try to make everyone happy because it's absolutely impossible and was my downfall last time. The LGBTQ community is not a monolith. We won't all agree. I'm just going to do my thing and if you don't like it, don't follow me. I won't take offence.
That being said, I will own any mistakes on my part with reflection, an apology and a desire to learn. We all mess up, including me. Intentions matter, actions matter, reparations matter. I'm always learning and growing.
I believe in working together because there are enough people trying to tear our community apart. I will always strive for connection, empathy and compassion with others and hope I'm met with that in return. We have a lot of enemies out there. We don't need to create them.
To protect my mental health, I'll be unapologetic about setting boundaries for myself. Being an advocate does not make me a punching bag. I will prioritize my well-being and my need to be there for my family before anything else, always. Full stop. Expect nothing else.
If you leave me nasty comments, I won't reply to them and you might get blocked. You can think whatever you'd like about me. Your opinions of me are 100% your right. But I won't take responsibility for them and I won't give them energy. I have bigger things to do. Carry on.
And that's it. That's the whole thing. I almost died and I didn't and now I'm in a significantly better place. I won't allow any pile-ons to take me down. They don't carry that power anymore. My self-worth is based on who I am, not who anyone thinks I am. Finally.
And now I'll let you do what you need to do - get angry, unfollow, send me a welcome back message, screenshot this and talk to people about it... I honestly don't care anymore. It's, like, the most freeing thing ever after 43 years of caring way too much.
Love to all.
Love to all.
