I present to you: social media as fuckbois, a thread:

Instagram:

- super attractive
- has the hookup to tons of janky weight loss products
- GAINZ!!!
- randomly mad at you and won’t tell you why

Facebook:

- good at everything
- older, lies about it
- goes through your shit while you’re in the shower
- has pictures of EVERYTHING

Twitter:

- clever
- good at small talk
- knows tons of good jokes, none of them are his
- name drops famous people

Snapchat:

- always something new
- late night declarations of love
- unsolicited dick pics
- short attention span

Tumblr:

- bad poetry
- tells stories that probably didn’t happen
- artistic and accepting
- cries over fan fiction

Pinterest:

- has a hack for that
- fancy
- high expectations
- no one knows what he actually does

YouTube:

- entertaining
- extrovert
- always borrowing money
- acts famous even though no one knows who he is

Google +:

- good ideas, no one listens
- high substance, low style
- doesn’t even go here
- dropped out, mysteriously disappeared

Tik Tok:

- knows the words to all your favorite songs
- very creative
- won’t stop looking in the mirror
- does dumb shit for attention

LinkedIn

- ambitious
- will spoil the fuck out of you
- calls himself the CEO of an idea he wrote on a napkin
- gets fired for racist posts on the internet, blames “PC culture”