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I& #39;ve talked to myself this morning.
A thread;
A thread;
1. I never thought that I will have the ability that I always wanted to achieve... An ability to give an advice and to comfort myself.
2. And I needed that. I realized my conflicts. I don& #39;t play the victim but if that& #39;s what it looks like, then okay. I thought about that too a lot.
But I am immature in the way of handling my emotions but I am mature in the way of analyzing my emotions well.
But I am immature in the way of handling my emotions but I am mature in the way of analyzing my emotions well.
3. I never wanted to be painted as the person who people should pity on. I would rather be painted as someone who is an independent woman who deals with pain like how other people deals with it.
4. Before people can point out my flaws, I& #39;ve already seen them a million times. Everyday.
5. There& #39;s always a double standard in living. If you don& #39;t possess this superior trait that other people likes, then you must possess others in order to cover up that one. You must put double efforts on enhancing those other traits so that people would love you still.
6. I& #39;m so sick of hearing people say to me that they will stay. YES. THEY DID. But it felt like they& #39;ve already left. That sucks, that hurts. But what can I do? I don& #39;t like the idea of begging. And I will never like it.
7. I assure YOU that I will never be silent when it comes to what I feel. I will yell it out in a subtle way in my Social Media accounts. That& #39;s how I calm myself, like what I& #39;m doing right now with this thread. It& #39;s immature? Sure. Fuck that. Fuck the opinion of others.
8. But I also assure you that it will be loud enough for people to not hear your name.
9. I understand that this is just a lesson that God has made me to learn. I understand it all too well and I accepted it with all of my heart.
10. Three lessons with three different people. Thank you for being my guidance to be wiser in every similar conflicts I have to face.
11. I know my mistakes. I don& #39;t admit it but I will never deny it.
12. I always try to understand the situation silently. I know my mistakes and the other person& #39;s mistakes. I always try to include a balance between us. I don& #39;t want to be selfish when it comes to justifying emotions. But I will be if I know that I& #39;m deeply wounded
13. If only you could see my unsaid thoughts. You& #39;d understand why I can& #39;t understand you and the situation we have. If only I could only hear your unsaid thoughts, maybe I& #39;d understand why I have to be more sensitive and tough in dealing this.
14. Misunderstanding leads to the end of the communication.
15. I learned to live half alive. Dead and alive. I will be more private than ever.
16. Turning lessons of the pain into legacy. Thank you for the lessons and sorry for the mistakes I& #39;ve committed that I& #39;m too afraid to admit.
End of thread
