Read on Twitter
When I shared how I was sexually assaulted, I purposely didn’t say this niggas name, one is because of the connections he had to our mutual followers, and the Nigga has just recently kicked up drama on the TL.
and my anxiety kicked in after I tweeted about it, because, I figured, no one would even believe me when I said anything. But who the fuck are y’all for me to lie to?
When close friends asked me, so they could unfollow, I told them. First response was empathy, but the second responses were “Not shocking. I see how he speaks to women and acts on the TL so I’m not surprised.
For fucking days I was triggered. In therapy. Crying myself to sleep. Scared out of my fucking ass because again, I didn’t want ppl he associated with in my mentions or DMs calling me all types of shit or whatever the case.
When his name was outed, I preferred to remain anon because the nigga has my address and it’s not that far from me at all. I just got off the TL, and began drinking as my anxiety flared the fuck up.
And of course, what happened after that, was something I knew was going to happen. At this point, I still hadn’t outed myself as one of his victims, but I saw when people pieced it together. Because my experience started to get liked.
Most people figured it out on their own while also making sure not to trigger me any further. Again I saw a few tweets on my TL being shared and all other shit.
So I had another drink of my beverage and a few things caught my eye, which is why I tweeted my thoughts on how I didn’t believe no one knew what type of person he was or could be by how he carries on on the TL. I mean I guess but okay
Then again I mean when you wear rose colored glasses, how do you honestly expect to see anything? I digress. It became the “I’m more hurt than you are” olympics on here. I legit got so fucking angry. I just decided to keep on drinking.
Keep in mind at this point with my tweets being retweeted, people seeing them, and responding, no one outside of the people I told, knew I was one of his victims. So I really didn’t give a fuck about how they felt. Who cares?
I woke up the next day still angry, tweeted some thoughts, and they were replied to, this is when I removed my anonymity and outed myself as one of his victims. Cause im fucking tired
I had to tell my mother and aunt about it, because I’m afraid to be home alone. No one is in state with this nigga. No one lives twenty minutes away from this nigga. None of y’all but me.
This thread is very PG for what I actually wanna say. Dealing with a trauma that I tried to suppress for months after being in therapy and realizing what had been done months before, is not something I would wish on to my worst enemy
I’m so angry because after I tried to suppress it, I was still friendly to this piece of shit. Not saying how he violated me cause the excuse I would’ve gotten would’ve been an excuse cause he was drunk.
I find it strange that since I’ve outed myself as the person he assaulted last year, I’ve noticed some things.
My DMs stay open, this thread is my feelings of this past week, hell this entire year.
One positive takeaway, is my family has promised any and all types of bullets to anyone who dares to try me. Take that how you want